Jane
by elainefr
Summary: This is a little something that I was thinking on for Jane as a stand alone piece. Everyone has a story and Jane was an awesome character to me. I am only borrowing the characters from one of my favorite cartoons Daria. I don't own it, I just borrow it sometimes. Honest reviews are always welcome.
1. Chapter 1

"This is weird right?" The ravened haired beauty with the porcelain colored skin and ruby red lips asked the older gentleman sitting across from her. "Of all the people that I thought that I would be having lunch with today, I would never have thought that it would end up being you. No offense of course." She added as a cursory while she studied him as she took a moment to drink some of the coffee that was placed before her.

"I'll concede that when I wandered into this place, you were the last person that I expected to see as well," he admitted over a light hearted chuckle.

"So, how are tricks, Mr. DeMartino?" Jane asked her former high school teacher.

"Silly rabbit, _tricks_ are for kids." He quipped with a slow smile.

"Well I'm no kid," she stated with a matter of fact voice and raise to her chin, "but I do enjoy a good trick every now and then."

_Am I really flirting with my former high school teacher? She thought with no small amount of amusement at this unexpected bit of fun. _

"Don't we all," he was surprised at her teasing, but he also remembered that being young and beautiful afforded you all sorts of things that he hadn't the luxury of in his lifetime.

"Why _Mr. DeMartino_ it sounds to me like you're into some rather ambiguous behavior…..behind closed doors of course." She smiled at him gauging his reaction.

"Closed, open…..whatever floats your boat, as they say," he replied in what he hoped was a noncommittal way.

She sat back in the booth and let out a genuine laugh. Most guys didn't really know how to handle her humor, but DeMartino had been very even handed with her. He handed scolded her like she was a child, but he hadn't made her feel like some sort of sexual deviant either. The waiter came then with pen in hand.

"What'll you have?"

"I will have the Chicken Cesar Salad with lemonade," she stated in a matter of fact voice, "and my friend here can have whatever he wants. It's my treat."

"In that case, I'll have the steak and eggs lunch special with the house beer."

They handed their menus back to the waitress and faced one another once again.

Jane noticed immediately that he was a lot more relaxed than she remembered. He had always seemed so high strung in school, but given who her classmates were and how demanding Ms. Li was, she could understand why. He had allowed the silver to almost completely take over head leaving only remnants of the black hair that had been so prominent before. She liked it. It seemed to bring his intelligence to the forefront by highlighting those eyes that use to bulge and twinge with such outrage at the mediocrity that his students displayed. Those eyes were fixed upon her, no doubt making an assessment much like she was doing.

"Do I pass inspection?" she asked feeling more emboldened by the moment.

"I was merely thinking that you seem to have grown into a lovely young woman. No doubt you have a score of suitors at your beck and call," his voice was deep and held her with its intonations of an intimacy that seemed to be flourishing between them.

"I wouldn't say _scores_ and school keeps me really busy these days."

The waitress placed their drinks on the table and continued on.

"What are you working on?" he leaned in slightly and watched her as she spoke.

"I am working on a sculptural piece that is not being particularly cooperative with me."

A brief frown creased her forehead that he found all the more enticing on her.

"What seems to be giving you a problem?"

"I am _currently_ unable to bend light to my own will." She sighed upon seeing that he actually wanted to hear more. Normally she would make a veiled hint about not wanting to discuss it and whoever the current guy was would take the hint and change the subject. "I want to do something that makes the final piece be a reveal within itself. I was _hoping_ to use light as a sort of reflective reveal so that as you walked towards it each person would see something slightly different."

He sipped at his drink and was reflective for a moment before speaking. "Perhaps you are trying too hard. Take a moment to do something- anything else and then come back to it with a fresh set of eyes. It could mean all the difference in the world."

"I'm used to plowing my way through my blocks until something comes out," she mused aloud.

He shrugged his shoulders while still watching her. "Why not try something different?"

_Why not indeed? She thought sipping at her drink while pondering the double entendre'._

Over the rest of their lunch Jane learned that Anthony had left Lawndale the year after she had graduated. He had taken a few night courses during his last year there and was now teaching at the local university and seemed to enjoy it. It would appear, at least to Jane that college life had helped him to reclaim the passion for teaching that he had when he chose the profession in the first place. He looked _happy_ when he discussed his students. Anthony learned that Miss Lane was pursuing her Art with a passion that was reflected in her eyes whenever she spoke of her classes or assignments or art in general. They left after exchanging numbers and agreeing to get together again, even if it's only for another lunch, next time it would be his treat.


	2. Chapter 2

She sat on her bed with her legs crossed flipping through the channels not really caring about what was airing. Dinner had been deliciously satisfying and normally she would have allowed the food to sustain her while she dove into an art project or two or sometimes three, but her art held no refuge for her tonight. The pencil had felt as discontent to be in her hand as she now felt. She was…..restless.

_Perhaps I am in need of a bit more action, she thought allowing her eyes to glide over to her closet. Maybe she could lose herself in the beat and dance of the club scene that so many of her classmates seem to love. Or maybe she would meet a cute guy and let nature take its course. Why not?_

She went to the closet and pulled out a black worn leather mini skirt that she'd found at a thrift store, a red tank top, her favorite black jacket, and her favorite black boots with the silver spikes that she'd hot glued on them. She fluffed out her jet black hair a bit giving it a bit more volume in the longer version of her asymmetrical cut, and an edgier feel with the outfit. She dabbed at her lips with her signature red lipstick and headed out the door.

_I can't believe I miss The Zon. At least there, there were familiar faces and of course she knew the band. _

She gave an inward smile and made her way over to the bar. She ordered herself a drink hoping to take the edge off. She turned back to survey the dance floor once she had her drink in hand and was sipping on it.

_Different people, same scene….. This was a huge bust._

"Hope you're not thinking of leaving so soon after you got here?" a voice said from the barstool beside her.

"I shouldn't have bothered coming here," she stated as she downed the rest of her drink without looking. She placed the glass back on the bar and turned to the person that had been speaking to her. "Not my scene tonight, later." She made to leave, but the young woman that had been speaking to her placed a hand on her arm.

"Let me buy you a drink and try to change your mind," she suggested.

Jane looked at the red head. She was striking and under other circumstances the artist in her would have loved to study her for a composition of some sort, but tonight, she just wasn't into it. The woman's skin was slightly tanned and she wore blush and a nude lipstick. The jumpsuit that she wore left little to the imagination and the bright green print only accentuated the flaming red curls that hung to the middle of her back.

"Thanks, but no thanks." She disengaged herself and took two steps to the door, but was stopped again. She turned back to see a blond young man. He wasn't much taller than her and his haircut reminded her of a TV FBI persona.

"What's the rush?"

She could smell that alcohol practically leap off of him.

"Things to do," she said becoming agitated. "Excuse me."

He was not to be deterred though and hurried to stand in her path.

"Come on legs. Let's hit the dance floor.

"I said NO," she snatched her arm from his grasp and stalked away from him angrily. The nerve of that guy thinking that he could just put his hand on her, she thought angrily. Part of her wanted to go back and hit him where it hurt, but she was already out the door, so why bother? She found herself wandering through a convenience store with a basket of stuff that she wasn't convinced that she actually needed.

"Going out or coming in for the evening?" a deep slightly gravelly voice said from behind her.

_Really, I haven't had enough unwanted attention? Jane rolled her eyes up._

She continued up the isle deciding to ignore him in hopes that he would go away.

"Sorry to have disturbed you then, _Miss Lane_," the voice said and she heard footsteps retreating when she realized who had spoken to her.

"I'm so sorry," she turned towards where he had spoken, but he was already at the counter. She hurried before he could leave and blocked his path. "I thought that you were one of the jerks that kept messing with me tonight. If I had known that it was you….."

The corner of his mouth raised slightly in amusement. "What? If you had known, then what?"

She allowed a slow smirk to cross her face. "Well I wouldn't have been so rude. What are you doing out this time of night, anyway?"

"Ah, Miss Lane, the night holds the key."

_Has he been hanging out with Trent?_

"Mmm….."

They regarded one another a moment more.

"I should be going," he said and started to move past her but stopped at her side and looked down at her. He was again struck by her beauty. "Would you care to join me?"

She gave a slight nod and after paying for her things, they left.

She sat in a reclining position on the couch with an arm draped across her eyes, feeling the more than slightly worn. What had made her think that she even remotely felt like hitting the party scene tonight? She loved parties- well some, but she only wanted to concentrate on her art and that just wasn't happening for her.

"Drink this," he nudged the cool glass into her hand and sat beside her.

She sipped without looking at him.

"Thanks." She drank some more and waited for the speech that she felt was coming. Finally she opened one eye and dared to look at her _knight in shining armor._ He was surveying her room and allowed his eyes to rest on the abandoned piece that was sitting on the table before them. "That thing is mocking me," she muttered.

"What do you see when you look at it?" He asked leaning in slightly and focusing on face.

"You mean aside from it being the thing that is currently driving me insane?" She sat up straighter and looked at it. She wasn't used to discussing her art, at least not until it was done. She only knew that it was something that she had to express. That's just it I see smooth plains and lots of lights, but the distance between A and C is unbelievably long when I can't seem to connect the dots and now I'm whining. I hate whining."

He gave a slight chuckle.

"Well I'm glad that my distress could amuse you." She flopped back on the sofa again.

"I have an idea, if you're up for it."

His voice held a challenge that she immediately recognized. She sat up again and looked him in the eyes.

"I am up for just about anything." Gauntlet picked up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you think that you could possibly tell me what you're doing?" Jane asked she listened for clues as to what he was doing. The blindfold was making it impossible for her to see anything, so she had to rely on other means for clues. She could hear his footsteps behind her and then she felt his hands lightly on her shoulders. Then the warmth of his breath was on her cheek when he spoke.

"Clear your mind Miss Lane and let the pictures unfold in them the way that you always do." He remained like that until she had visibly relaxed slightly. "Good," she felt him put something long and hard in her hand then he guided her hand so that it was against a flat surface.

"Just draw what you see."

_He smells really good, she thought. Okay let's see where this little ode to 'Ghost' takes us._

Somewhere along the line he had moved and she had lost herself in what she was doing. It hadn't been as strange for her as it probably looked. The elements were so familiar to her that it just felt good to be doing something that she loved.

_Of course, she thought when she was finally done, I could have just one huge scribble here when I remove this mask._

"Are you ready for your unveiling _Miss Lane_," his breath was on her cheek again as he spoke.

She wanted to lean back against him and listen to the sound of his breathing or the richness in the smooth baritone of his voice, but she was too excited about their little experiment. She kept her eyes closed as he had instructed and waited for him to give the word.

"Okay Miss Lane…..open…"

She opened her eyes and blinked to focus.


	4. Chapter 4

After Anthony had taken her to the loft that Shalah, a former classmate, had loaned her to use for her work, Jane had worked with a renewed sense of purpose. Everything that had been just out of reach in her mind before seemed so clear to her now. She knew what she had to do and it had laid itself out before her piece by piece, as to how to do it. The piece that she had felt mocked her in its illusiveness came to life as she added and took away the necessary parts. She was on the right path to revealing what she wanted, so she worked relentlessly. The hardest part for her now was restraining the eagerness that she felt to get it done. She wanted this to be exactly right and there was no way that she was going to let her over anxiousness get in the way. She continued through the day and night of the next day, even when Anthony had turned up with deli sandwiches for sustenance, then finally she found herself standing in the midst of her work area looking at her work with a critical eye.

_Thanks for the help, Anthony. If it hadn't been for you, I don't know how I would have gotten through this. This had been even worse than when I was doing all of those copies for cash and had lost my fire for my own work. At least I'd been getting paid the, though that was a small compensation for losing a part of me, even for the smallest amount of time. I'll have to think of a way to 'properly thank' him later._

"Someone seems pleased," Anthony's voice broke her thoughts. She turned to see him carrying coffee and more sustenance in the form of doughnuts.

_Is this the same guy that caused a brawl over cheese samples?_

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "Last night was…..very kind of you."

He shrugged. "You needed a distraction from what you were doing by actually doing what you really wanted to."

"That actually makes perfect sense to me." She took an iced doughnut and bit into it. She was pleasantly surprised to taste the strawberry filled center of it and caught it with her tongue at the corner. "Not to sound ungrateful, but why did you help me?"

He seemed to weigh his answer before responding.

"I just don't want you to lose that spark that you have. It's hard to retrieve once it's been lost and nothing else is gonna be able to satisfy you in the same way." He watched as she ate her doughnut and thought over what he was saying. He was struck again by the need that he felt to touch her. "You will probably want to get some rest. You have been working around the clock after all."

"You would think so wouldn't you?" she said in an slightly awed voice. "But no. I am still stoked over my break through. We should commemorate the occasion or something." She suggested standing up suddenly.

He caught the box of doughnuts before they fell and moved the coffee to the opposing end of the table. She was standing and looking down at where he was sitting. The morning light, normally her sworn nemesis seemed to outline the starkness of his features and for some reason made his chin and the line of his lips seem sinuous. She took a step to him so that her legs were on either side of his left knee.

"You know," she leaned in and inhaled the pleasant odor of whatever shower gel or soap that was co-mingling with his natural scent, "I owe you for last night. How do you suppose I should thank you?" Her cheek almost brushed his and she so wanted to feel the friction of his stubble against the softness of her skin.

The sweetness of the doughnut lingered on her breath and he imagined that to taste it would be sublime. She lowered herself so that she was precariously perched upon his knee, but she stayed leaned in so that their faces still remained almost touching. He dared not utter his thoughts. As forward as she was being, he was still cautious.

"You could….."

"Mm….."

"Let me have that drawing from last night." He smiled at her surprised expression.

"Really?"

"I guess I like the thought of having something that reminds me of a time when I had a beautiful woman blindfolded and doing whatever I wanted." His voice was a husky whisper.

"The drawing is yours then."

The sound of the elevator opening to the room broke them from respective positions. Jane stood back up again, slowly, never taking her eyes from his and Anthony sat up straightening his position. Their eyes remained locked until Shalah's voice pulled Jane's attention away.

"Oh Jane, I need your help. Duncan will be here soon." She said as if that were to explain everything. "Duncan, my ex-boyfriend," she explained impatiently. "Remember I told you about him and you promised…." She broke off as if just realizing that Anthony was there.

_Aw crap! Duncan- why now?_

Jane nodded remembering that she had promised her friend that should Duncan ever come to visit, she would do everything in her power to not let them be alone. It seems Shalah had trouble saying no to this guy.

"Shalah, this is Anthony. Anthony, Shalah. This is her lovely loft that she lets me use to create in."

"Hi," Shalah tried unsuccessfully to tuck some of her curly locks behind her ear.

"Okay, I will referee for you."

"Good, he'll be here soon." She went into what Jane knew she used as a spare closet and worked on the right outfit for the occasion.

"Guess I'll clear out for you guys," Anthony stood and looked down at Jane's upturned face. "Are you gonna be okay with this guy coming over?"

"Of course," Jane said dismissive of the situation. "I just have to be here so that my friend keeps a leash on her libido. Apparently this ex of hers can make her say yes in all the right ways," she said conspiratorially leaning in.

"I can think of worse problems."

"Well that's because you would be reaping the benefits."

There assessed each other for a moment more before he left after settling for an exaggerated lingering handshake. Jane went to discuss the plan of action with Shalah.


	5. Chapter 5

"Up and atom Shalah," Jane called through to the bedroom door of her apartment where her friend was staying for the evening. Jane was already suited up for a run and Shalah was supposed to come along and stay distracted from her ex.

"Mm…I'm comin'" was her garbled reply.

Duncan had been persistent, Jane thought.

_Shalah had been a lot stronger that I would have been. All it would have taken would have been one look from those smoldering chocolate brown eyes or the thought of being held in those large strong arms and I would have spent the next few days becoming reacquainted with him in every intimate way possible._

Her friend made her way down the stairs each step she took seemed more begrudging than the last.

"Coffee," was her simple request and Jane pointed to the pot that she had brewed. She watched Shalah take the first most important sips and allow it to penetrate the last vestiges of sleep that had been lingering. "Don't be too brutal with me today okay?"

"Hey, this was your idea. If I am going to keep you away from the delectable Duncan, then you must follow my lead."

"So you and that Anthony looked rather…..intense when I came in. What's the deal there?" Shalah asked curious. Jane was always very private with her personal life, but was quite open about her views on promiscuity or other as she called it 'antiquated ideas'. She clearly loved life and tried to embrace it fully, but her art, in whatever form, was always first.

"He's an old friend?"

Shalah gave her a look that said. Your words, not mine.

"He teaches here?"

"Yeah, he from our hometown and now he is happy teaching again. That's a good thing too, because if he had stayed then he probably would have killed Ms. Li by now." She saw the questions pop all over Shalah's face. "He was a teacher back in Lawndale and the principle was always especially hard on him."

"So…..any Lolita-esque escapades to speak of?"

Jane chuckled while shaking her head.

"Definitely not, we weren't a part of each other's radar back then, besides I'd have felt bad what with getting him fired and all. He's different now; back then he was so angry and completely disillusioned with his job and the students, now….. Like I said before, he seems happy."

"And he's clearly into you. So is this a relationship or a fling or what?"

"Not sure yet; I'm angling for some fun, so I'll just see where it goes. So, I've gotta ask, what the heck is the problem with you and that hunky ex of yours?"

Shalah thought on it for a moment before answering.

"We grew up together and he's a really nice guy. It's just…..I wanted to go to school and do something; anything but I needed to get out into the world and see things. He wanted to get married and settle down at home. I guess I just wanted more….."

"There's no crime in that. At least you were honest enough to know what you wanted. Staying would have made you both miserable. Have you told him how you feel?"

She nodded. "I have and he says that he will wait for me, but I don't want him to put his life on hold while I am living mine. What if I don't come back? He deserves to be happy and I really wish that it was with me."

"Quite the predicament, but you can't hold yourself responsible if he's just too plain stubborn to hear what you're saying. Continue to be honest."

"It's just, when he and I are alone…..that's when everything else disappears. We understand each other and when he touches me….." The look in her eyes conveyed more than any words that she could find. I don't know how I'm going to get through the holidays….. every holiday we end up together and that just creates a whole new set of problems. He clings to that and I let him because a part of me doesn't have the strength to hurt him."

"I've got just the thing. Come to Lawndale with me. If nothing else you will most definitely be out of range for Duncan for the holiday and who knows maybe the time apart will do you some good."

Shalah looked at Jane hopefully.

"You think so?"

"Couldn't hurt; Now get off your ass and let's go," Jane said playfully around a smirk and watched as her friend went back down the hall to grab her running shoes. Shalah is a nice girl and she couldn't wait for her brother and best friend to meet her as well. It's going to be a hell of a holiday, she thought.


	6. Chapter 6

"Trent, I'm home!" Jane yelled as she entered her old home. She heard him before she saw him.

"Janey!" He emerged from the kitchen and gave her a hug.

"Good to see you too. This is my friend Shalah," Jane introduced the young lady that was coming in behind her. She will be staying with us in Wind's room, if you don't mind?"

"Any friend of Janey's…" Trent smiled at Shalah.

Jane directed her to her temporary room and turned back to her brother.

"Hope you don't mind. She really needed me."

"Of course not," Trent sliced into an onion as he spoke.

"So do you and the old ball and chain have plans?"

"She'll be by today. Why haven't you called her?"

"I just got in and I do have a friend with me. I am helping her with something." Jane said cryptically.

"Mmm…." Trent continued slicing and added a garlic clove to the pile.

"What are you doing? Thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow."

"I am preparing some things so that dinner tomorrow goes well. By the way- the big thing in there is the turkey- do not touch it."

"Okay," Jane held her hands up in mock surrender. "Don't tell me you've gone all anal too."

Trent threw her a sour look.

"I just like cooking. It keeps me steady and I come up with some really good lyrics too." Trent said by way of explanation.

"Just teasing bro," Jane punched him in the arm playfully.

_Well, sort of. Hell where did that come from?_

"I'm gonna unpack and go for a run. You okay here with Shalah?"

Trent _shrugged_ his assent and turned back to his preparations.

Jane's runs usually served to clear her mind, as she let the familiar scenery pass her by and all of her problems would end up having a much clearer solution, she hoped that this would do the same.

_I love my brother and I love my best friend, but I love my life too. What is wrong with me? I have been wanting those two to own up to their feelings forever and now that they have, it's getting on my nerves. Again, what the hell?_

"Watch it!" she said to the runner that had invaded her space and practically barreled into her.

"Miss Lane," the gruff voice of Anthony Demartino greeted her.

"Anthony," she said over a surprised smile, "I have _never_ seen you on a run before."

"Well in my previous residence here, I only worked out in school gym," he gave a rare smile.

_ She looks fantastic in her sweat drenched attire. It only emphasized her youth and exuberance._

"What brings you back to Lawndale?"

"Same as you, Thanksgiving. Timothy invited me over for dinner. It seems he has a new lady friend that he wants me to meet."

"Good for him. Grab life and don't let go, I say."

He heard the words, but her lips were what mesmerized him. Unadorned by her signature red, they were a tinged with a soft pink and the top lip was sexily larger that the bottom.

"…..Anthony?" Jane's voice drifted into his thoughts.

He cleared his throat.

"Yes, well. I was hoping that I could see you later. Maybe we could take in a movie this evening," He asked cautiously.

"Sounds like a plan," Jane was pleased with this turn of events. "So O'Neill is dating? You must give me the details later."

They fell into step walking with one another back towards her destination while talking.

"Apparently they met while she was substituting and hit it off from there. He seems happy."

"Sounds nice."

"He asked me if I were seeing anyone."

_More like if I had rejoined the living after swearing off dating since that horrid divorce._

"And your reply?"

"I informed him that I am interested in a very spontaneous and intriguing young lady."

"Mmm….."

She has a good poker face, he noted.

"I won't say anything about…..us, if you don't want me to."

"Us?" she raised a brow in ¾ view.

"I didn't mean to imply that there was-"he stumbled over himself caught off guard. Perhaps he had misread-

Her laughter broke his thoughts.

"So, we're an 'us'? I'll have you know that I don't usually decide to be an 'us' without sampling the goods first." Jane said in a playful tone.

He kissed her on the tip of her nose quickly.

After a moments surprise, she stood in front of him to stop their walking.

"That is what politicians give to babies…. And I am no baby." With that said she then pulled him by the front of his tee shirt down to meet her lips. The kiss was swift and held much of the intensity that had grown between them. She reluctantly ended the kiss, but stayed in the arms that he'd put around him.

"That was one hell of a 'sample' Miss Lane," he managed to say through the haze of want that had pierced them both.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," she said in her best seductive voice. They stayed that way for a few moments more until a passing cars horn made them realize where they were and that they could be making quite the public spectacle of themselves.

"I look forward to your company tonight then." He gave a slight bow to which she smiled.

"As do I," she gave her version of a curtsey and they went their respective ways with smiles on their faces and looking forward to the evening.


	7. Chapter 7

"We will have lunch at one of Lawndale's most favored spots, The Pizza King," Jane announced to Shalah and her best friend that were in tow. "We will now enter one of my personal fav places to shop on Dega Street, The Spot."

The trio entered the store and were greeted with various assortments of trendy to vintage clothes on the mannequins. Everything was so neat and arranged so that the customer felt as though they were in a specialty Boutique. Even the young lady behind the counter was stylishly dressed, but not at all out of place in the setting of Dega Street.

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked brightly.

"Just browsing, but if you have anything….unique I would love to see it," Jane said as she and her friends looked at the various racks.

"Got a date you want to impress?" the clerk asked.

"I've already impressed him, but it doesn't hurt to keep him on his toes," Jane said around a smirk.

"So who is this mystery man?" her best friend asked curious as to what had happened to the older gentleman that she had met back at school.

"An old friend," she said as offhandedly as she could, but her friend knew her too well. There was more to this.

"You've reconnected with an ex?"

"Not an ex. Someone I knew once and I am becoming reacquainted with."

"Jesse?"

"Enough with the inquisition. It's a holiday and I want to have fun. I'm trying this on," she snapped and took the clothes that she had chosen and went to the dressing room.

"I know that you've known Jane longer than me, but I think that she just needs some space right now," Shalah said approaching the petite young woman that was staring in the direction that Jane had went.

"I've given her nothing but space. Compared to how we were, we barely speak to one another." She turned her attention back to Shalah as though just realizing that she were there. "You seem nice and I am glad that Jane has someone that she feels like she can talk to. Tell her I had to get home, okay?" she left the shop feeling like every bit of the third wheel.

"Hold your applause everyone," Jane emerged from the dressing room minutes later wearing a red tee with sheer short sleeves and a pair of black leather pants that left little to the imagination.

"We have a lovely gold chain belt to go with it," the clerk said holding one up.

"She said that she had to go," Shalah explained seeing Jane looking for their former companion.

_Of course she did! Where is this damn anger coming from?_

"So what do you think?" Jane asked Shalah.

"I think that outfit is definitely hot and you should talk to your friend." Shalah wanted the two women that were so obviously close to come to some kind of understanding. She knew why Jane was feeling the way that she did, but she wasn't sure if Jane knew it yet.

"…..I will," Jane agreed begrudgingly.

_Why do I have to be the one to call her? Cause she probably doesn't even know what you're pissed about idiot. _

Jane paid for her purchases and along with Shalah made their way on over for lunch. She had made up her mind to speak with her friend once she'd gone home and gotten Shalah settled.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey." Jane greeted her best friend at the door.

"Hey."

Jane allowed her best friend to come in to the Lane residence.

"Trent is in his room."

"Okay….." she stood looking at Jane. "What's going on?" She asked finally.

Jane sighed and gestured for them both to go into her room. They passed the kitchen where Shalah and Quinn were huddled at the table around their phones. Once the door was closed and her friend was sitting on her usual spot on the bed, she turned to her.

"Okay, so you know Batman and Robin right?" Jane continued talking as her friend sat listening to her. "Batman is who everyone goes to see and Robin is his side kick. Even when Robin grows up, it's still the Batman show. Robin tries to do his own thing, and even though he's grown up and goes by Nightwing, he still gets the whole sidekick thing."

"You're talking about us right?" Her friend monotoned.

"And even though Robin totally loves Batman and always will, it's just that sometimes it can be really overwhelming in the shadow of the bat." Jane finished sitting beside her friend.  
"I am no Batman and you are no sidekick. I would never say that."

"Well, you wouldn't but- Like before when we were all together, I was no longer Jane, independent college artist genius. I was-"

"…..Robin," her friend said as several things dawned on her. "Jane, you are no one's Robin. And me as Batman. I mean sure I would _love_ to be a millionaire and the gadgets would be nice, but I don't wear a cape with pointy ears."

Jane smiled at the picture painted in her mind's eye and decided to definitely get that on paper later.

"Well, not with pointy ears…..no."

"I didn't mean to…..take over everything."

"It's not really you. It's just that I have always been your friend and that's just fine, but then it was like I was the friend of the smartest girl, and then you took my boyfriend, and now-"

"…..your brother. I could never take Trent from you. No one can. He loves you and that won't ever change. As for Tom, I thought that we were past that a long time ago." She spoke in earnest. There was no way that she wanted things to regress that far back.

Jane threw up her hands in exasperation.  
"I have, believe me. I am over Tom, but it did happen and that's what it felt like at the time. Now I'm at college and I have friends and things going on that I want to share with you and Trent, but as soon as I come home, it's like you guys are a duo and I am the third wheel. He wants to spend all of his time with you….. and that's normal. It just…."

"Hurts," she finished for her again feeling a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry….." she felt helpless. "Would it help if I kept my distance for the holiday?"

"That's not what I want. I want you guys to be together and have fun. I just hope that there's room for me sometimes."

"What about tonight? We could-"

"I have plans tonight and so do you remember?" she elbowed her friend.

"That's tomorrow for your information. Can I ask who your plans are with?"

"…..sure, it's Tony." Jane spoke with her face averted.

"Tony, the older guy from college. What's he doing here?"

"He used to live here. He was a teacher at Lawndale High." Jane waited for everything to fall into place for her friend. She didn't take long.

"Tony- Anthony- Anthony Demartino?" she struggled with trying to remain calm and as nonjudgmental as possible. "So….. How…..when"

"As articulate as ever," Jane smirked. "We are just going with flow right now. I like how he makes me feel. Can we leave it at that?"

"Okay, what about….. The other thing?"

Jane sighed.

"I'm fine. I just need a breather every now and then."

"So you don't have a problem with me seeing Trent?"

"Of course not. I'm glad that you two got together…..finally. I won't ask that you not tell Trent about who I am seeing, but could you wait until I'm already gone to do it?"

"Sure," her friend agreed.

Having aired out her feelings the two friends emerged from the room and rejoined the others.


	9. Chapter 9

"You look beautiful," Anthony said as Jane seated herself across from him.

"Thank you. You clean up nicely yourself." She greatly approved of the extremely relaxed look that he was sporting. It wasn't just the khakis and button down camp shirt, it was his entire demeanor.

"So, how are you enjoying your holiday at home?"

She shrugged.

"It's fine. Trent is mostly wrapped up in his new girlfriend…..my best friend. I'm happy for them."

"….. and your art?"

"Still got my creative juices flowing, thanks to you." She let her hand cover his lightly. "So how's Mr. O'Neal and his new lady friend?"

"I met her briefly when she came over to bring him surprise muffins for breakfast….. She seems nice."

"Well that sounds ominous. Tell me," she leaned in speaking in conspiratorial tones, "is she another Barch?"

"Bite your tongue. Escaping that she-devil was the best thing that ever happened to him. Timothy seems content and that's good enough for me." Anthony said with a tinge of what Jane thought to be something reminiscent of regret.

"You seem….. At odds about something."

"Well, I do feel somewhat responsible for his breakup with Barch and I am just glad that he has found someone. He is a …..For lack of a better word, delicate man when it comes to the fairer sex."

"I see." She drank some of her drink. "You two are good friends. Kind of a Ying and Yang." Jane observed. "So, when do you return to work?"

"Not for another week, but I am thinking about going back Saturday. I am staying with Timothy and I think that it has thrown a bit of a crimp in his arrangement with his lady friend."

"What did he say?"

"Oh, he would never say anything, but I can tell. Plus, there are a few tell tell signs that she has spent more than a few evenings with him," he smiled.

"No fair. Tell me what you are remembering." Jane coaxed playfully.

"I was getting ready for bed and I pulled out the sofa bed to get it set before taking my shower and….."

"And, what? Don't tell me you found some lace underwear that she had left there." Jane guessed.

"Not exactly….. The lace panties were there, but so was the handcuffs and the whip."

Jane almost choked on the sip that she'd taken.

"Don't tell me that you're shocked?"

"Not by the items," she said once she'd regained her composure, "but by the user of said items." _Wow, didn't think ole O'Neal had it in him._

"Don't judge a book by its cover Miss Lane."

"Never." She cleared her throat. "So…"

"So….."

They studied one another a few moments more.

"We should be going. The movie will start soon," he suggested after a moment to which she agreed.

After the movie…..

"What'd you think?" Anthony asked Jane as they walked around the block from her home.

"Why did you choose that one?"

"Was it too- campy for you?"

"I didn't say that…"

He sighed.

"It happens to be one of my favorite movies and I wanted to share it with someone that I thought would get it the way that I do." _Guess that was a miss on my part. Smooth move Anthony._

"I enjoyed it. I liked the way that they connected. It seemed real and their chemistry practically melted the screen."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. It had enough of the mix of humor and romance without trying too hard."

They continued walking, hand in hand, both unwilling to let the night end just yet.

"Well here we are again," Jane said when they had again reached her driveway once again.

"So we are." He allowed his hand to gently slide up to her elbow and he guided her towards the front door. Once there he cupped the side of her face and allowed his thumb to trace her bottom lip. "You are positively lovely Jane."

She enjoyed the feel of the strong hand on her face and the arm that had found its way around her waist to draw her close. They could make out one another's faces cast by the cool light of the half-moon shining between the trees. Each leaned in for the kiss. There was a gentle firmness to it and they indulged in the lingering sensations of learning the tastes of one another that had piqued their interests from before.

_You have got to be kidding me. Is she really with him. Look at them! Glad to see that everyone is so freaking_ happy_. I can't believe this crap. Perfect end to a perfect Thanksgiving!_


	10. Chapter 10

Trent finished going over the words on the paper and scratched his head trying to figure out what to say to his best friend. Jesse had come to him with what looked like a letter that he had written and wanted to turn it into a song. Trent understood trying to get the feelings out and he had wanted to help his friend as best as he could. They had been holed up in the basement for hours after the two sisters had left and Shalah had said that she would be online talking to friends, while Jane was meeting someone on a date. Trent scratched the back of his head.

"Do you want to talk about her or something?" Trent had approached it with as much tact as he could.

"No point. It's done." Jesse had his trademark locks pulled back into a ponytail.

"You're still coming by for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, right?" Trent had never seen Jesse so out of it over a girl. Jesse usually had a good time with them, then moved on. Rarely was there ever any negative backlash on his part.

"I don't know. I was thinking about just chillin' at home and watchin' the game."

"Come on man, you can help me out." Trent coaxed.

Jesse knew that Trent was trying to cheer him up and make him feel less alone. Truth be told, he didn't want to stay at home and have his mother try and fix him up with another one of her friends daughters or cousins or something, but he didn't know if he could handle being there…..with her. In the end, he knew that even if it meant only seeing her, he would be there. He gave a curt nod and looked at the papers that Trent held. Those lyrics pretty much summed things up for him.

"Good thing, it'll be great." He clapped Jesse on the back and they went back to arranging the music to go with it.

**Last Stop **

I feel nothing.

I feel, not think.

What's the difference?

You're not mine,

Never was, never gonna be

I went to you,

You weren't there.

I went to find you,

You were with him

No words passed between us

What would be the point?

You're with him,

But don't feel sorry for me, cause:

**Chorus:**

She might not have your face,

She might not have your smile,

But she is here.

For tonight she is here

So I'll lose myself in her,

But I'm not using…..her

You keep walkin'

I'll keep singing

You probably don't even realize it anyway.

I was a pit stop for you,

But you were the last stop for me.

**Thanksgiving Day**

"Hey Jesse," Shalah said as she stepped past him to get into the refrigerator for her much needed Gatorade. "Has anyone seen my strawberry lemonade Gatorade?" she called out.

"Oh- sorry," Jesse held up the now empty bottle that he'd just sat on the table after drinking the contents. "I thought it was Trent's. I'll go get you another one."

"Don't worry about it. I'll grab one on my way back from my run. Just don't tell Jane," she mock whispered the last smiling at him. She had liked Jesse and the gentle quiet reassurance from the moment that she'd met him. In many ways he reminded her of Duncan.

"She sleeping in?" He tried to sound as casual as possible.

"Well….. Not sleep, but her date must have went well because she is laying there grinning ear to ear, but there's no sketch book or easel in her hand." Shalah left to go on her run.

"Enter," Jane said to the knock at her door.

Jesse entered the familiar room and went to sit next to where Jane was sitting on the bed.

"Heard your date went well."

"Yeah, it was nice."

_Look at how she's smiling. She looks so happy… So fucking happy….. Damn….. What the hell am I doing here? I should go- shit she's touching my arm. Her hair smells so good._

"I know that I haven't seen much of you, but I intend to make up for that today. We are gonna watch the game together and completely pig out on all of that delicious stuff that Trent made." Jane announced her plans as she leaned against the muscular arm that had always been there for her when she needed it. Trent had told her that Jesse was in a funk over some girl and she had felt bad that she had pretty much skimmed past him by allowing other things and people to get in the way. You don't ever flake out on the tried and true friends, for they are few enough as it is. "So what do you say partner? You and me, the rest of the world be damned for the day?"

"Well, except that we will be around other people….. it is Thanksgiving."

_She could always get her way with me._

"Well, if you want to get technical," she elbowed him playfully in the ribs. He responded by doing tickling her until she could no longer stand it and they were in a playful wrestle. He was stronger, but she was quicker and managed to get him pinned down. "Say it Moreno."

"Say what?" Jesse wanted to keep this going for as long as possible. He missed this…. He missed her. "Ow!" he felt the sharpness of her knees dig into his sides. "Okay, okay! Jane is number one."

"Louder, please," Jane demanded.

"Jane is number one!" He said and was disappointed at how quickly she removed herself from straddling his chest, even if it were only in play.

"Now if you don't mind, Miss Number One here has to get into some clothes before everyone gets here." She swatted his bottom with a triumphant smile as he left the room.

"Trent, you're here," Jesse said seeing his friend in the kitchen when he emerged from Jane's room.

"Uh, yeah. I live here, remember?" Trent smirked glancing back at his buddy while he was stirring something on the stove and taking a look in the roaster at the turkey. Everything was starting to smell really good.

"You weren't in here before." Jesse said and wandered over to look in the pots that had begun to awaken his ever present hunger.

"I was at the market getting some more chocolate sauce." Trent swatted Jesse away from the pots. "There is a nice cold cut sub that I made for you in the fridge. I want this dinner to be really nice." Jesse took out the sub and cut it in half, offering up Trent half of it, but Trent declined so Jesse put the other half back in the fridge and began eating the other.

"So is your _girlfriend_ coming?" Jesse teased.

Trent shot him a look.

"Nah, her family is doing their thing. We have plans later," he said with a nonchalant air that Jesse knew was baloney.

"You guys _finally_ decided to go for it huh? It took you long enough." Jesse continued eating his sandwich. "I thought for sure that you two would have hooked up way back at the beach that time. What happened there?"

"Well," Trent said thoughtfully, "she was away at school and I really didn't want to mess that up for her. She was doing really well and Janey said that she had just gone through something with that guy that she'd been seeing. I didn't want to be just the rebound guy." Trent looked at his friend. He seemed a lot better, maybe today would be good for him after all.

"You need any help with anything?" Jesse offered finishing up the sandwich.

"Nah, I got it." Trent returned to the busy workings of the kitchen, while jotting lyrics that came to mind on his ever present notepad as he happily got dinner ready.

Jesse and Jane were in the den yelling choice words at the television and Shalah had volunteered to set the table, so that the two wouldn't be disturbed. Max and Nick had just come in and were putting the beer that they'd brought in the refrigerator. Everyone was here, Trent thought, all we need to do now is eat. Everyone talking over one another and enjoying the meal, it was everything that Trent could want, with the exception, of course of his missing leading lady, but they would have their time….. later. For now he would enjoy the sounds of those he considered family. His sister was her usual self, bringing her own sense of bawdiness to whatever situation that she chose. Shalah seemed to be enjoying herself and the attention that she was receiving from Max and Nick. Trent had seen it before, they were both interested in the same girl, but eventually one would back down when they saw whom she was really interested, it was only a matter of time. Jesse was still in his jovial mood, thank goodness. It was a lovely sight, Trent mused to himself looking at everyone.

"A toast," Jane said standing suddenly with glass in hand, "to the best meal that I have ever tasted and I know why, it's because it was prepared with nothing but genuine love." She looked at the people around the table and became suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. "I don't think that I realized how much I missed you guys until this moment….. anyway- to family."

There was a round of here here's as everyone drank for the toast.

"Don't you have plans?" Jane said to her brother when she entered the kitchen and saw him with the dishes.

"Yeah, she just left and I wanted to get this done real quick."

Jane leaned against the counter next to him and studied his profile for a moment before placing a hand on his arm. He looked at her curious.

"Go, I can handle this here."

"No second date tonight?"

"It's a one-time only offer," she stated taking the dish rag. Now was not the time to discuss her love life.

"Thanks Janey." He went to shower before heading out.

"You're a good sister," Jesse was standing in the doorway.

"Maybe….."

Jesse went and began to help Jane by drying the dishes. They never needed too many words. Things just always seemed to work for them on some level. They were on the couch watching tv again when Trent told them bye on his way out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

"That was A-mazing," Shalah said to Jane once they were back in the dressing room. "I can't believe that I- that we actually did that." Her excitement was understandable, cause Jane found herself feeling the same way.

"I know. It was quite liberating," Jane agreed.

_I can't believe my best friend does this._

"I wasn't sure that I could do it at first, but once the music started and I didn't think about who was on the other side of the glass….." she sighed, "everything just fell into place."

"And off," Jane quipped to which they both had a laugh. "I'm glad that you had a good time. So, dare I ask about Duncan?" She saw the momentary clouding of the eyes and regretted bringing it up. "I shouldn't have brought up. I am so sorry about that."

"It's okay." She sat in a nearby chair and Jane pulled one up to sit across from her. "He's continued to call, but I haven't answered. I just wait for it to go to voicemail and then I go for a run or something."

"But you have listened to the voicemails?" Jane wasn't sure until she'd seen the look on Shalah's face. "I haven't been doing a really good job at helping you have I? Well that ends now. You and I have a date with a couple of tubs of ice cream tonight and we will wallow and come up with some new strategies. How's that sound?"

"You don't have to do that." Shalah was grateful to Jane for the unique kind of exuberance that she brought to her life.

"Don't sweat it. I could use some girlfriend talk."

"Thanks Jane."

"Now, we need to get ready for our final show." Jane announced and went behind the screen to change into the costume that she'd chosen. She emerged wearing a tailored magician's jacket complete with pull away pieces, mesh black thigh highs, garter, black peep toe heels that emphasized her long shapely legs, and finally a satin top hat. This was fun. At first it had been a bit unnerving, but the anonymity that it gave made her feel empowered to indulge in some of her own fantasies. This must have been the allure for my old pal, she'd thought after her first dance. Looking at herself in the mirror now, she understood the slogan 'Sex Sells' more than ever. The possibility or the fantasy of indulging in something _naughty_ is clearly a huge draw.

_And the pay ain't bad either._

Shalah was wearing a cheerleader's outfit, complete with pom poms. She had put her hair in two long curly pigtails that hung to her shoulders. Her make-up was set to emphasize her large almond eyes and exaggerate her full lips. The cheerleader cardigan was about two sizes small and the skirt barely covered her behind, but all was to emphasize the valuable assets within.

_Brittany would be boiling with jealousy over you._

A knock on the door with the announcement that their rooms were up had the girls take a deep breath and go to their respective work areas.

"This was a night to remember," Shalah announced once they had made it back to Janes and had taken their respective showers. They sat, in front of the TV with, as promised, a huge bowl of their favorite ice creams that they'd picked up on the way home.

"Yeah, it really was. I'm surprised that you volunteered to do it. Why?" Jane asked around a mouthful of peanut butter ripple ice cream.

"Well, why not? I may be from a small town, but I have an adventurous spirit too. I remember this one time Duncan and I were at the movies and there was this particularly intense love scene….." she paused remembering and Jane threw a pillow at her.

"Cool down with that ice cream and spill the rest- in graphic detail too."

"I didn't even realize it at first, but my hand had kind of gravitated over to his lap and he was already at more than half mast. Stopping would have been cruel," she mildly defended around a nostalgic smirk. "Seeing how he reacted to me was such a huge turn on. I remember thinking that I needed to be alone with him and quick. I could tell he was close to- well you know, but he grabbed my hand and hurried me out of there and into a janitor's closet. I unzipped him, he ripped away the underwear that I was wearing under my skirt, and the next I knew, we were on our way to one of the most intense sexual sessions ever. It might not sound very romantic, but it was intense and the thrill of possibly being caught was such a high."

Jane observed the extremely impassioned look that stayed with Shalah as she recounted her tryst.

"Well I must say that I am becoming more of a Duncan fan by the moment. Remind me again why you want to stay away from him? Oh yeah, honesty and all of that." She ate some more ice cream. "Well, the best way to get over one guy, is to get under another. Starting tomorrow, I am going to fix you up."

"I can't- I tried, but the whole meal, I felt like I was cheating on Duncan or something." Shalah admitted.

"What if we double dated? That way there would be no pressure for you."

"I guess….."

"Okay, it's settled then. Now let's enjoy this cheesy movie of female empowerment and bonding." Jane pressed play and they watched the movie. Twenty minutes into the movie they were both asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

"It was really cool of you to invite me out with you guys; thanks Jane," Quinn said as she sat next to her sister and across from the young woman that had turned more than a few heads when they'd entered the club that The Spiral was playing at tonight. Back when she was in high school, this would have been the start of an all-out war to see who could get the most guys, but like the two best friends before her, Quinn had grown. She was well aware of her beauty, but she no longer thought of it as her only and best quality. She knew how to use her brain, but always kept the beauty too.

Jane shrugged nonchalantly and sipped at the wine cooler. She was glad to see them getting along; it seemed the only sibling that she was close to was Trent. Her sisters were older and practically out of the house when she came along, so they'd never had more than cordial words when everyone crashed at the family home. That's why her relationship with her best friend was so important to her. It had been the closest thing to a sister that she could have and incidentally that's why it had stung twice as hard with that whole Tom debacle. She was glad that they had moved past that and even though she'd been rooting for the union of her brother and best friend, she also knew that she didn't need it. They were sisters in their own right.

The lights went down and all eyes were drawn to the stage. The announcer's voice came over the mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome The Spiral."

The lights hit each member in turn starting in the back with Max on drums, then Nick and Jesse on bass and rhythmic guitars, and as it hit Trent he began the song.

The Other Woman…..

She's not you

You're not her

Never could be

Never were

She's my calm before the big fight

You are my Amazon, ready to take them on and make it right.

Together, you are my perfect pair,

Though sometimes I want to pull out all my hair.

The light, not just at the end of the tunnel, but everyday

No one could ever replace you, not in any way.

Chorus:

Painting girl, you keep painting your dreams,

Keep giving life to the canvas, you know what that means.

Running girl, you just keep on running,

As long as it's back to me sometimes.

She's not you

You're not her

Never could be

Never were

You're the one that fights the dragons,

You're the one that keeps us safe,

Together, you are my perfect pair…..

"What'd you think?" Trent asked his unusually quiet sister once he'd made his way to where she was sitting after their set.

She gave a smile that echoed his own as she stood and hugged him.

"You jerk," she whispered.

"Love you too sis."

Quinn stood next to her sister and they both watched the two siblings with no small amount of envy on both their parts. They had wasted way too much time, each thought. Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, uncertain of what to say.

Jane and Trent made their way over to the sisters.

"Has Shalah showed up yet?" Jane asked to no one in particular.

"I haven't seen her," Quinn answered and her sister shook her head to say the same.

"She's supposed to meet us here," Jane looked around the room as she spoke. So far Shalah had managed to avoid every double date that she tried to set up.

_ There she is. Who's that guy? Duncan? Shit! Well- she doesn't seem upset. Heck, they look downright chummy, but that's how things start for them._

"Heyyyy," Jane greeted them both. "How's it going you two?"

"Hey Jane," Duncan's deep rich voice greeted her.

"Hey," Shalah said sheepishly.

"Can I talk to you for a second please?" Jane asked her and pulled her friend over to the side. "What's going on?" Jane asked once they were out of earshot of Duncan.

"Well, I know what I said, but he made a compelling case. We're gonna try and make things work long distance. Something keeps pulling us back together, so we both feel like we should see where it will go."

"That's not just your libido talking is it?" Jane asked skeptically looking at the delectable vision of Duncan's frame as he stood waiting for them.

"No- I mean, partly, of course, but," she looked at Duncan, "we have unfinished business."

"Okay, but just be careful with your heart."

"Thanks Jane." She motioned for Duncan to come over and together they rejoined the sisters and the band where they were in the booth talking.


	13. Chapter 13

"Shalah, why haven't you been answering your pho-" Jane stopped short as she came upon the scene before her. She'd entered the loft expecting to find her friend surrounded by varying packages from a shopping spree and fast food places in an effort to get her mind off Duncan's return home, but instead Shalah was in the throes of passion, when Jane has come in. Jane's face held a broad smirk.

"Hey, Duncan, "Jane directed her greeting to the slightly startled backside of the young man that had tried to cover Shalah with the cover that was on the floor. "No, need to stand….. Unless you want to."

"Oh! Jane-"Shalah covered herself with the throw that Duncan had gave her, "I was just-"

"I know what you were just doing and I will let you get back to it."

Jane turned and let the embarrassed couple have their privacy. She threw up a salute to Shalah's 'thank you' as she retreated with a smile and a slight shake of her head.

"You're a hard woman to find Miss Lane," Anthony's familiar voice snapped her head up.

"Oh, hey. How are you?"

"Okay and you?"

"Great, great. So why were you looking for me?"

"I haven't seen you since we've been back so- well, I miss you," he added in a gruff, somewhat shy manner.

"I missed you too," she admitted.

"Maybe we could see each other…. Tonight …..At my place ….. Alone?" He practically held his breath waiting for her answer.

She knew what he was asking.

"Okay, I'll be there around seven that okay?"

"Definitely."

Each left with an anticipatory smile on their face.

Jane's Place

"Thanks for helping me with this," Jesse said to Shalah.

"No prob Jesse. I kind of owe Jane for not making a big deal out of what happened earlier.

"What happened earlier?" Jesse questioned.

Shalah blushed remembering, but said nothing. Jesse shrugged and looked at the lovely meal that he had prepared for Jane, with Shalah's help. He needed to talk to her before things went any further with Demartino. He'd even cleaned himself up and had his hair down and curly from the shower the way that she liked. He wore a burnt orange tee that showed his muscular physic and darkened denim jeans with the brown boots that she brought him from her trip to Paris.

"I hope she likes everything," he said more to himself.

Shalah looked at him and it was obvious to her that he was crazy about Jane; she just wasn't sure how Jane felt about him. When Jane spoke about Jesse, it was always with a warmth that extended well beyond friendship, but she would also never really speak about what, if any, their situation was.

"I know she'll love it Jesse," Shalah touched his arm gently.

"Hey guys. What's up? Can't really talk, in a rush. Jesse, you look great, gotta a date?" The whirlwind of Jane said all of this as she hurried through the apartment and into her bedroom. Shalah and Jesse followed her curiously.

"What's going on?" Shalah asked cautiously after glancing at Jesse's impassive face.

"I've got plans with Anthony- tonight-" she threw over her shoulder.

"Can't you postpone? Jesse cooked-"

"We're having dinner at his place," she said suggestively. "Besides, we can reheat it tomorrow. Jesse and Trent are staying through Sunday to help get my new roomie moved in and they have two gigs. Right Jesse?"

"Yeah, sure," he said. "I'll just go put the stuff away," he said looking at her face that was flushed with a happiness that was rare for her. She missed the stricken expression in his eyes, before he turned and went out of the room.

"Jane….." Shalah wasn't sure what she should do. She could feel how important this was to Jesse, but also didn't want to put a damper on Jane's plans.

"Yeah?" Jane was holding up a red dress in front of her in the full length mirror.

"You sure- about Anthony, I mean?"

Jane's eyes caught hers in the mirror.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I just want to make sure that you're okay with it."

"Thanks mom," Jane smirked and resumed her focus on the evening to come.

Shalah entered the kitchen and saw Jesse sitting at the table with his back to the door. He was writing. Jane had left looking excited in anticipation of her romantic evening. The look in Jesse's eyes for that split second when she'd left, to go to someone else, sent a feeling that shot straight through Shalah. It was as though every bit of agony had shone through. He had went into the kitchen then and that were she found him now. She went to kneel before him and though none had been spilt, she sensed that had he been truly alone there would have been tears. Out of sheer frustration of not knowing what to say, she wrapped her arms around him as best as she could. She felt him stiffen, but still she stayed. Whether he knew it or not, he needed someone.


	14. Chapter 14

His apartment was small, but nicely decorated, she noted when she entered. It was done in mostly warm cocoas with deep, rich chocolate pieces of furniture. The fireplace crackled beckoning them to sit beside it.

_How poetic. Nice Anthony._

"Allow me," his voice was soothing to her ears as he removed the sheer wrap that she wore. "You look stunning."

The red dress fitted her with a plunging neckline that she could carry without it looking vulgar and it drew attention to the shapeliness of her long legs with the shortness of its length and the split on the side.

"You clean up nicely as well," she gave him an appreciative once over. The charcoal gray sweater enhanced the intensity in his dark eyes and the black slacks were a nice framework that held the look together.

He kissed her gently then. It was a kiss of appreciation for who she was and the genuine happiness that she brought to his life.

"Come," he motioned for her to follow him to where he had set up a small table for two with a single candle in the middle.

_Shouldn't that be later? Stop it. This is so sweet. Mmmm….. a candle, must have talked to Jesse. Stop being so nervous. You are JANE Freakin' LANE._

"What's going on in that lovely brain of yours?" he asked after pouring them each a glass of champagne and taking a seat across from her.

"Now Anthony, a girl must have her-" she stopped midsentence as she caught a glimpse over the fireplace. It was her piece. The scribble that she had done when she was blocked. He had it framed and mounted over his fireplace. "That's my scribble- I mean the one that I did when I was blocked. You kept it?" She couldn't take her eyes off of it. He must have had someone make the frame, because it looked custom with some exquisite looking wood. She had stood and moved a few steps so that she was closer to it.

"Reminder of a time when I had a beautiful woman blindfolded and doing whatever I wanted," his voice was low and seductive in her ear and she could feel his body just behind hers.

She leaned back against his chest. His strong frame held her and she felt herself tremor slightly when he placed a kiss in the crook of her neck. His hands, oh his hands, one spanned her ribcage while the other traced the enticing line from her navel up to the pale throat that arched back wanting more, and on to cup the side of her face. He looked into her trusting blue eyes and was once again taken by the sensation this unexpected connection that he had with her. He had long ago resigned himself to the fact that the older that he got, the less likely the chance that he would have to find someone- a woman to spend anything other than a passing night of carnal pleasure with. He had decided to pour himself into his teachings in the hopes that he would be able to help shape young minds and give them the opportunity to become everything that they had ever wanted. Of course, teaching at Lawndale under the tyrannical leadership of Mrs. Li had almost driven him insane and with all of her rules and cut backs, students like Kevin and Brittany weren't able to get the kind of academic attention that they so sorely needed. The few rays of sunshine back then had been so sparse that he'd fallen into a depression of cynicism of sorts. Seeing the diligent, steadfast Jodie and the barely contained patience of Mackenzie when they tried so to engage their classmates, was always refreshing and that particular class grouping, that included the lovely young lady in his arms and her best friend, had been a large part of inspiration for him to strive for more. As diverse as they all were at a glance, they always seemed to find some reason or another to be in one another's orbit and in their own way, encourage one another. He turned her gently in his arms, while still holding her gaze and cleared his throat.

"We should have dinner," he held her chair for her and after a long moment she sat in it. He then rolled over a small cart that held the covered dishes of their meal on it. "For your dining pleasure." He lifted each of the lids displaying the dinner that he'd had the little eatery down the road prepare.

_ No way he cooked this. Nice though._

"Everything looks delicious." Jane spanned the varying foods.

_As does you Miss Lane. Stop acting like a dirty old man Anthony, but damn if she didn't wear that dress for nothing, besides she'd old enough to make her own decisions. It's not like you're coercing her into something she doesn't want. But hell, look at her….. Why would someone so young and full of all to come, be here…..with me? Let's face it she's on the precipice of life and I am closer to my journeys end than I care to think about….. But when I am with her, all of that falls away. _

"My brother cooks now. He did this whole thing for Thanksgiving. It was really nice." She said and took a bite of the tender meat that she'd cut into. "Apparently Lawndale has quite the cooking classes at the local college."

He raised a brow in question as he dug into his food as well.

"Trent took a class or two there and it seems to help with his musical musings. He seems so much more focused and determined in all aspects now." She spoke proudly.

"Perhaps he had a talent for it already and the class just brought it out in him."

"Maybe, but Jake Morgendorffer also took a class there and now he makes things that are not only edible, but they taste good. I promise you, if you ever had any one of that man's concoctions, then you would be more than impressed at the miracle that class performed." She declared.

Anthony gave a low chuckle as he remembered the concoction that Jake had brought to a PTA meeting. As hungry as he had been, he hadn't been able to get past the smell of whatever it was and those that had dared to try it to be polite, had paid with severe belly aches afterwards.

"I recall a PTA with a questionable dish. So your Thanksgiving was good."

"Yeah. Trent went out of his way for everyone. He always does."

"You care about your brother a lot."

"He is my brother….."

"You two are close though. That's nice. What about your other brothers and sisters?"

"We know who each other are and we do a cursory meet and greet once a year. All in all, we're okay? What about you? Any siblings strewn about?"

"I have- had two brothers and a sister. One of my brothers, he died in service and my other- he's married and lives….. Away."

"And your sister?"

"She's always been, special. She has to stay in a place that helps her to adjust in society." He gave a long pause. He hadn't opened up like this to anyone in a very long time…..too long. "She's happy though."

Jane watched the myriad of emotions that went across his face as he spoke. It was obvious that there was more and it had been difficult for him to open up to her, but he had opened up. Her fingertips grazed over his knuckles lightly and he looked back into her eyes. He gave a gentle squeeze to her hand and she gave him a quick smile.

"So, I've been dying to ask you…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Yes?"

"Where _did_ you order this food from?"

He gave a genuine, deep rich laugh.

"There's a little place down the street. They do take out, with style."

"I thought so." She sat back and took a drink from her glass.

"So you guessed correctly that my culinary skills were questionable?"

"I just figured that your skills lay in places other than the kitchen." She managed to say with an innocence that was anything but.

The meal continued with the gentle play of words and they found themselves sitting on the plush leather sofa that faced the fireplace and her framed work that hung above it. They sat facing one another, her with her elbow propped on the back and leaning forward; him leaning in slightly with eyes only for her.

_Look at her. The way she's so at ease with herself. I haven't even mastered that after all of these years. She so at home with who she is that it only enhances the already exceptional beauty on the outside. Those eyes, any man could get lost in those eyes and consider himself a lucky bastard for it. Of course it doesn't hurt that the body that comes along with it is nothing short of a work of art itself. Shit, she asked me something-_

"Why Anthony, you weren't paying me any attention." She chided him teasingly.

"On the contrary. I was paying you too much attention."

"Do tell?"

"I was merely thinking that it's a good thing that you did not cross paths with Athena. She did…..change Medusa after all."

"So you fancy yourself a God, eh Poseidon?" she asked with an alluring smile.

"I don't know about a God, more like ancient-"she placed a finger on his lips to silence the self-depreciation. He kissed the finger gently. "….. But your beauty most certainly would anger any woman for you are a Goddess in your own right."

She shifted forward and leaned in to rub her cheek along his neckline and up to feel the stubble that graced his face.

"…..and here I am, just a mere mortal devoting my life to one of celibacy in honor of Athena….. Enter Poseidon and his persuasive staff to woo me into forgetting my vows." She had advanced on him and now sat in his lap with her arms around his neck and her fingers in his hair. "Shall I follow in my predecessor's path and give in to my temptation…"

"…..you can say no at any time and-"he started reluctantly, but was cut off by her kiss.

"It wasn't a question, but it that's what gets you off, no." She whispered and kissed him again, deeper with an undeniable hunger beneath. His lips moved to her neck where he lingered and enjoyed the feel of her body that his hands were having. She busied herself by running her hands under his sweater before hurriedly discarding it on the floor. She stood cursing the confining moves of the dress and after locating the side zipper on it, she unzipped it and let it pool on the floor at her heeled feet.

"Leave 'em," he said gruffly when she'd began to step out of her heels.

She smiled at him, leaving the heels on and motioned for him to stand. He stood mesmerized by her every gesture. Their eyes were connected, but he could feel her hands unbuckling and unzipping his pants. Then, with thumbs in the waistband she lowered his trousers to the floor. She made no secret of looking him over as she slowly rose, and allowed her hand to graze him as she did so. They both stood, him in his boxers, and her in the crotch-less black panties that she'd opted for. They both went in for the kiss and enjoyed the feel of one another's bodies while letting their hands roam. She reveled in the rugged catch in his breathing when she kissed and gently bit the slope of his neck/shoulder. His hands each held a breast and he dipped his head so that he was able to tease one with his mouth while tweaking the other with his fingers. The intense waves of pleasure coursed through her and as if he'd read her mind, he changed positions so that his mouth now gave equal attention to her other breast and his hand had slid down between her legs and began their delicious exploration.

_Oh- my- he's really going for it here, but not so fast Demartino._

She pushed him down on the couch a bit roughly with the intention of straddling him and giving him the same wonderful torture teasing that he was giving her, but before she could he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. He was eye level with what was now his most favorite female undergarment, her crotch-less panties. He buried his face in her femininity causing her to gasp in pleasured surprise.

_Touché Anthony!_

She reluctantly pushed him back before climaxing and gave him the 'you naughty boy' finger wag. She gestured for him to lose the boxers, which he did without hesitation. They were both still panting and she straddled him on the couch taking her time to lower herself on to him and envelop him fully.

_Anthony!_

_Jane!_

Neither found words necessary as they explored one another on this evening. Two people that had known each other in what seemed like a lifetime ago, now knew each other in a different way. Late in the night, or rather early morning, Jane picked up the heel that had gotten left in the hallway on their way to the bedroom with a smile on her face. She had left him a note by the bed and looked forward to what was to come. She smirked remembering the note as she opened the door and let in the beginning noises of the streets outside.

"Nothing like a clean get away….." his deep voice startled her.

"A get away implies that I stole something and I assure you that I have not or would you like to frisk me?" she asked playful holding her hands up in mock surrender.

_Except maybe my heart….._

"I had a wonderful time Anthony," she admitted with downcast eyes.

He tilted her head back to look into those eyes that continued to captivate him and knew that she wasn't just making idle chat to make him feel good.

"Me too. Call me later? We could do lunch. I still owe you for that first time."

"Okay. I have to make sure that Trent and the rest of The Spiral didn't completely wreck my place, but I'll give you a call regardless." She hesitated a moment before giving him what was supposed to be a quick kiss goodbye, but he caught her in his arms and kissed her deeply.

"Have a good day…..Jane."

"You too Anthony."

He watched her leave and marveled again at his fortuitousness.

_Yeah, she is definitely one hell of a lady!_


	15. Chapter 15

"So, spill," Shalah said as she plopped on Jane's bed adjacent to where Jane's best friend sat typing on her laptop. "I want to know _everything_." She looked like a kid at Christmas with her hair pulled up into bun and her eyes wide with anticipation.

"Ah- maybe not ALL the details. We still have to eat you know," quipped her old friend with a smirk. She managed to dodge the pillow that Jane tossed her way. "Hey, careful. I can't afford for this thing to break."

Jane gave a quirked brow over her shoulder and returned to the painting that she was working on. It had been a few days since she and Anthony had moved forward in their relationship and it all felt so surreal to her. She'd had sexual relations before and they had been fun, but last night seemed to mean more. For one thing, she'd stayed the whole night. Granted, she'd stayed the night before, but as soon as the acts of indulgences had been over, she'd found no reason to stay, so she didn't. It was the way that she liked to keep things casual without hurt feelings being involved. With Anthony, staying the night had consisted of not only indulging as though there was some kind of marathon, but remaining in his arms when he'd pulled her to him. She remembered how their breathing had synced once she'd let her head fall back against the lightly furred chest. It had felt so nice to simply be, she remember thinking as she had drifted off to sleep.

"Oh look at her, she's practically blushing," Shalah fell back on the bed with a squeal.

"I had a wonderful time." Jan said demurely.

Shalah's face fell.

"Seriously?"

"Stop teasing her Jane." Her friend knew all too well how Jane could draw something out.

Jane shot her a 'shut up' look.

"Well, if you must know…..we had dinner and we flirtalked for a while-"

"That's not real word," her friend interjected without breaking her typing stroke.

"It obviously means to talk flirtatiously. Just you wait, everyone will be saying it."

"Mmm….."

"Okay, flirtalked…" Shalah interrupted the two word duelers with impatience.

"He also had one of my pieces hanging over his fireplace. It looked like a custom fit too."

"Ooh la la," Shalah breathed softly.

"Like I said we ate and talked about family and stuff. It was just

Really nice. Of course that was before we stripped each other down and did the deed a few times, before collapsing from exhaustion."

"You stayed the night….." Shalah broached.

"I know, I know. I broke my own rule, but those rules don't really apply here. They are for when it's all about fun and sex or preferably both at the same time," she explained adding more color to the canvas.

Shalah and the now paused typist traded looks.

"So….. What is this?" Shalah voiced.

"I'm not sure, but I do know that it's something that we both want and it feels right. He gets me and I get him so we're gonna go with it." She looked over at her friends intentionally bowed head. "Nothing to say there, _Robin_?"

Her friend looked over the computer that she'd been hiding behind.

"As long as you're happy."

"Really? No reservations or words of warnings?"

"I'm not exactly a relationship expert here. Look how long it took for me and your brother to find our way together."

"True, but maybe if I hadn't pushed so hard, you wouldn't have been so stubbornly resistant and things may have progressed at a faster rate."

"So it's your fault that we took so long."

"On the other hand, my forcing you two to see each other as you should probably sped things up, so kudos to me." She said smugly.

"Actually if you want to get technical about it, our mutual ex took Trent to the club hoping to thwart any chances of Trent and I moving forward, but it only opened the door for us to come clean about our feelings."

"I still can't believe that he did that. I know that he could be arrogant and smarmy, but I never thought that he would do anything to you. He always seemed to put you on a pedestal."

Her friend snorted before replying. "I _never _asked to be anything other than me," She defended.

"What did you two see in him anyway?" Shalah asked the two ladies.

"Lawndale is a small town," she replied and returned to her typing.

"He was also kind of cute- back then," Jane said wistfully, "that and he managed to mask his smugness with witty barbs that on the surface fit right in with us."

"So he was rude?" Shalah tried to picture how the two very different women could fall for the same stupid guy.

"No, no. That would be oh so uncivil. He would veil his remarks with sarcasm, but he was-"Jane struggled to find the word.

"Mean," her friend supplied her from the bowed head at the laptop.

"Did he….."Jane trailed off wanting to ask her friend about how things ended with Tom the last time, but not wanting to stir up anything negative. It had always surprised her that her friend had revisited that relationship, but she had said nothing and allowed her to make her own decisions. "Was he mean to you?"

"…..no, not to me. He was okay," she said in a level voice that did not fool Jane.

"So let me guess. He used his passive aggressive style to make you feel guilty that you and he weren't doing the deed?" Jane could tell that she'd guessed correctly by the slight widening of her friends eyes and the avoidance of the eyes. "He made you feel bad about Trent too didn't he?" Jane realized seeing that there was more to things than she realized. Her friend gave a slight nod and her face remained averted. "You do know that it was his jealousy, his problem, not yours"

"…..but did I lead him on in a relationship that I couldn't pursue because of my feelings for Trent?"

Jane slapped her forehead with her hand causing a smear of blue before speaking.

"How can you be so smart and so obtuse? You were faithful to Tom and you tried to make things work- twice no less. Everyone has fantasies, even when in relationships. It's called being human. You didn't act on them. You were honest with him. He should have respected that." Jane finished.

"I know, but he would make such compelling cases about how there was three people in our relationship or how you and he could get along so well, but I couldn't let go of an old crush out of fear of moving on with him." She looked at the disbelieving faces of the two ladies before throwing her hands up. "I know, but it was different when I was in the relationship." She defended.

"You guys- you and Trent are okay though, right?" Jane asked her.

"Yeah, we're really good." She blushed profusely remembering their goodbye that started Sunday morning but ran into that afternoon/evening.

"Oh give it up," Shalah recognized that flush of remembrance. She was definitely no stranger to it, especially with Duncan's reemergence into her life.

"Don't look at me," Jane held up her hands. "You guys wanted to know my juicy bits too."

"Well, did the man live up to the fantasy?" Shalah asked eager to know since Jane had built up the relationship of her brother and her best friend as something of a legendary status.

"Absolutely," she said around one of her rare smiles.

"…..and?"

"And what?" she wasn't used to talking about such personal things, but it did feel like a comrade was between them all and talking about the naughty bits of one's relationship seemed to cement it. "Well, if you must know something. Remember the other day when Trent and I were 'watching' a movie when you and Jesse came back?"

She nodded thinking back to the incident.

"Well, we were also the stars of said movie," she said sheepishly blushing profusely.

Jane had to give silent salute to that one. Apparently people were a lot more adventurous than she gave them credit for. Shalah's jaw went slightly slack upon hearing the seemingly uber conservative young lady's admission.

"I believe the turn is yours my dear," Jane informed Shalah.

"Well-"

"And no theater talk. Something that I don't know," Jane interrupted her friend.

Shalah seemed to turn over a few things in her mind before settling on one.

"Well, you guys know that Duncan and I are doing the long distance thing?" At the two lady's head nod she continued. "Well, we were on the phone and things got hot like they always do. He asked what I was doing and I told him that I'd just gotten out of the tub. He said that he wished that he was there to dry me off and I agreed. He then proceeded to tell me in great detail how he would dry me off and get me 'wet' all over again. That's when I heard someone in the other room. Before I could go investigate, there he was. I put the phone down, but he said to stay on it. He continued to tell me what he would do all while maintaining eye contact with me. It was an amazing turn on and by the time we touched….. Well you can imagine."

"I don't have to; I believe I walked in on some of it," Jane reminded her with a conspiratorial smile.

"Come on Jane, we gave you more," Shalah said to Jane as if just realizing it. "Give us something."

"I do feel a need to restore my reputation as being the sexually adventurous one in the group," she mused aloud. "Well we started in his living room in front of the fireplace. He likes the heels to stay on by the way," she said plopping down as she relived the highlights. "He was particularly enamored with the crotchless panties that I wore though. Later, he said that they were his favorite piece of ladies clothing. We did the traditional christening of every room and major pieces of furniture there. If I have to pick a favorite time, it would probably be in the hallway that was a particularly erotic spot for us. I managed to leave a shoe there before we made it to an actual bed."

"Why the hallway?" Shalah asked what both girls had been thinking.

"Well it's all about positioning. We'd been kissing our way down the hall, with him leading me. We get about halfway down and I feel the edge of a table of some kind on my thigh so I switch positions and he's against it and from there I am able to keep myself at the most deliciously tantalizing angle by using the walls as a brace and positioning my legs so that I control all friction and pace. Let's just say a good time was had by both."

The trio laughed and talked through most of the day until one by one they each had to go their separate ways to jobs and classes.


	16. Chapter 16

**The past…..**

"I can't believe that they did this!"

Jesse watched as Jane paced back and forth brimming with anger. Her boyfriend and her best friend had kissed and in doing so had uprooted the precarious sense of layered security that she had so carefully cultivated over the years. He had watched her get let down by her parents when they would miss birthday and holidays, while Trent tried his best to compensate; with each disappointment, she'd built up a wisecracking resiliency of armor. She rarely let anyone see through it, but with her best friend there had been an immediate kinship. Jane had associated their relationship to how sisters should be, so this latest development had really hit home with her. He couldn't tell her to calm down- Hell, he was mad at those two Brainiac's himself. He was mad for Jane and for Trent. He knew that Trent had feelings for that chick, she was so smart in the books that the people smart part must have gotten lost.

"Do you think-"she stopped short, not wanting to revisit the thoughts that had plagued her. Jesse's solace urged her to continue.

"Do you think that he only talked to me to get to her?"

"I don't see why anyone would do that." He stated honestly.

_ Those eyes. She looks so lost and hurt._

He held out his arms and she went willingly to its security.

**Lane Residence that evening…..**

"Help me forget," she'd whispered while kissing the side of his neck.

Jesse's eyes popped open once he realized that he was not dreaming. He'd brought Jane home after she'd stopped crying and they'd found Trent sitting at the kitchen table. He looked like he'd been hit by a bus. Jane had been too wrapped up in her own pain to recognize fully, his pain as a companion piece to her own. She had said that she was gonna shower, so he'd sat across from his pal in silence.

"Beer?" Trent had finally offered absently.

"I'm good, but you go ahead."

"Can't- Janey."

"Don't worry, I'll stay here tonight on the couch in case you guys need anything."

"Man, I-"

"It's all good, besides I owe you from that mess back in Philly." Jesse reminded him of the scrape that Trent had gotten him out of after a gig one night.

"Thanks man." Trent had went, beer in hand, to his room and proceeded to try and drown his sorrows.

When Jane had returned, she'd watched TV with Jesse until deciding that she would try and get some sleep. He had wrapped himself up in a blanket on the couch and drifted off….. Until now.

"Hey- wait," he'd sat up abruptly at having been caught off guard by Jane's sudden request and his body's immediate response to it.

"Why? You're here, I'm here….." she leaned in past the hand that he was using to hold her off.

"You don't want this. Not like this." He said as firmly as he could, but the flick of her tongue on his earlobe nearly shot his resolve. He sat up and put both hands on her arms and forced her to look at him. "You're just upset about what happened with your boyfriend and your best friend. I get that, but this is not the answer. Get a clear head about everything. You will see things differently in the morning."

He watched her and held her firmly in place so that she wouldn't turn and flee from him.

"You know better than to think that," he said reading the negative thoughts that flickered through her eyes. "You deserve more than some romp to forget someone that was too much of an idiot to know what a prize you are." His grip loosened slightly and instead of leaving she leaned forward, as did he, until their foreheads touched and his hands gently rubbed up and down on her arms in a soothing manner.

"I just want it to stop Jesse….."

"I know Jane, I know….."

**After the fall out…..**

"So you guys talked things out?"

"Yeah, I guess….."

"You guys cool again or…..what?"

"We're tryin'," Jane admitted slowly.

"You don't sound so sure."

"It still hurts, you know?"

"Yeah."

She continued throwing some things in the duffel bag.

"About what happened- or didn't happen-"she didn't look at him and cleared her throat before continuing. "You know when I basically threw myself at you and on the sofa out there. I didn't mean to put you in a difficult position."

He gave a bit of a laugh then, making her look at him where he sat on her bed next to the duffle bag, laid back with his hands laced behind his head.

"I'm being serious here. What's so funny?"

"Well considering what you were asking, there could have been some difficult positions involved."

They laughed together.

"Thanks for letting me down easy Moreno," Jane smiled down at him.

He propped himself up on his elbows and winked at her.

"You put me in a bad spot you know."

"Really, how so?" she pushed the bag over and sat beside him.

"Well, I'm not in the habit of turning down hot girls."

"I know you don't think of me like that. I am your best friends little sister, so ….." She moved to punch him in the shoulder playfully, but he caught her wrist in one hand.

"You are Jane Freakin' Lane and don't you forget it."

She leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. It was sweet and delicate, at first….. He pulled her down gently so that she lay next to him and they kissed more deeply.

"Why'd you wait until now to kiss me? I'm headed off to the Art Colony." She asked when they'd pulled apart but still lay together with foreheads touching.

"Because you're going to that Art Colony. You're gonna learn even more about your art and stuff and that will keep you focused so you'll be straight for college." His voice was husky and his breath tickled her cheek as he spoke. "I'll always be there for you Jane, but I know that you're bigger than Lawndale and everyone here."

She kissed him again, deeper with a definitive underlying intensity behind it.

"We can go back to normal when we leave this room, but for right now….." she kissed him again. She repositioned herself so that one of her legs was thrown halfway across his torso. Her mouth found his earlobe and gently traded nips and soft suckles upon it before kissing the muscular bend of his neck.

_Oh my damn! She feels too good! If we don't stop soon- she just grazed-_

He rolled them over so that he was atop her looking down into eyes filled with a newly budding passion. He wanted her- badly, but he didn't want to take advantage of her. She was better, but it would take time for her to deal with that mess.

_Who are you kidding? You're just scared that you'll end up losing her and then your best friend too. Then you'll be all alone._

"Jesse?" she whispered in his ear, "something wrong?" She continued kissing back down to this area on his shoulder that she found all too appealing. While her hands explored the sensations of his muscular physic beneath the tee shirt that he had on.

Never one for too many words, Jesse took hold of both of her hands and put them over her head. He let his eyes stray from hers only to admire what was beneath him. He then let his hands travel from her wrists down past her elbows, over her shoulders, grazing the sides of her bosom to settle on her slightly exposed waist where he let the pads of his thumbs trace small circles. He pulled her up to him then. They sat face to face with her legs wrapped around his waist. He kissed her then. It was hard and laced with the kind of aggressive passion that she recognized in herself when she was highly inspired. He kissed her as though he couldn't get enough of her bringing a hand to wind its way through her hair and secure her mouths position against his. That kiss was a blending of who they were and feelings from all areas of their lives.

"Time to head out Jane!" Trent yelled as he bumped the door.

"Damn!" they said at the same time through jagged breathes.

Foreheads touching, they smiled and let out a light laughter.

"Back to normal," He made to move, but she hugged him so that he stayed for a moment more.

"Thanks for everything Jesse."

"You are my pleasure," he smiled showing the rare beauty of his mouth as anything other than sullen and brooding.

She stood and picked up a small bag and he picked up her two large duffle bags. They gave each other a knowing look before leaving the room and returning to the roles that their lives dictated for them for now.


	17. Chapter 17

"Are you enjoying the black cod?" Anthony asked Jane as he watched her eat the buttery rich food that he'd recommended at the restaurant they were having dinner at.

"Call it by its native name," she suggested and took another bite and swallowed it slowly.

"Please forgive me, are you enjoying your Gindara saikyo-yaki?" he always enjoyed watching how she ate. Sometimes she would tear into something if she was particularly hungry, but today she took each bite as though it were precious and savored it by often closing her eyes after each one.

"Oh yeah," she breathed opening her eyes slowly and catching his eyes on her again. "I just love the way it tastes in my mouth. It's all sweet and just a little bit naughty at the same time." She sipped at her drink and gave him a mischievous smile. "You enjoying your Tonkatsu?" She had enunciated each syllable so that it came out like a seductive call.

"The way you say it….. There's no way that I couldn't enjoy every single bite," he took a bite of the cutlet and gave her a wink.

It had been his idea to go to a Japanese restaurant that he had found just two streets over from his place. She had ordered for them and had found a way to insert sexual innuendo in just about everything that was said or done since.

_ He's going to think that you're some kind of sexual deviant. Oh, he would love that anyway, besides it's perfectly normal to- screw like rabbits? In the beginning of a relationship. Isn't it? Well it is for me- us. Look at him, he doesn't mind one bit._

"Dare I ask what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

"The desire to know is strong within you." She stated in a low mysterious voice.

"Desire is a _very_ strong thing."

They regarded one another while they ate the rest of their meal. Outside they fell in step with one another as they took the course that would lead them to Anthony's apartment. Their hands linked and swung gently as nighttime descended upon them.

"Come here," she tugged him to a side street slightly out of view from the main one that they had been walking on. Once there she put her arms around his neck and looked at him. "Tell me about your day," she pulled his head down so that she could whisper in his ear, "Baby."

_What are you playing at Jane?_

"Well I attended a faculty meeting after class. It was quite boring, if you don't count what happened to Miss Tramble's cupcakes."

"And what happened to the 'Tramps' _cupcakes_?" Her hands slid down his sides and one was beneath his shirt, while the other applied a gentle squeeze to the outside of the front of his pants. He moaned.

_That's right Anthony, moan for me dear and then howl with pleasure!_

She unbuckled and unzipped his pants and her hand went inside to capture his already erect maleness.

"Keep talking," she whispered after freeing him by pushing down his pants. The growing shadows of the coming nightfall masked them for the most part, but had anyone passing by stopped or looked long enough, then they would have gotten quite the eyeful.

"Jane-"

"I didn't know that there was a Jane at your place of employ. Is she like me?" Her hand had gotten into a rhythm that judging from the labored breathing that he had, he was enjoying.

"She- ah- the tramp- Mrs. Tramp- Mrs.-"

_What the hell is her name? –Tramble!_

"Mrs. Tramble had spent the whole morning-"

_You sweet, torturous-_

"Bragging about her homemade cupcakes, then she-"

_What the hell was that?_

She had changed tactics and instead of using one hand, she used two; she had formed a circle with her thumb and forefinger and stroked down while fondling his testicles at the same time. She would alternate the pace every now and then causing him to catch his breath and bring him closer to the edge.

"She did what?" her voice was so innocent that it only heightened the eroticism of what was happening.

"-ah, she knocked them over. Every- one- of- them-"

"Were you looking forward to _eating_ her cupcakes Anthony?" she asked coyly. "Did you imagine them to be 'moist and supple'?" Her wide blue eyes looked up into his and he found himself completely spellbound by her yet again.

He pulled her back up against his body and kissed her. She changed their positions mid kiss so that she was against the wall and could wrap her legs around him.

"I hope you're wearing that underwear that I like," he growled as he hiked up her skirt.

"Actually," she looked into his eyes again, "I'm not wearing any underwear."

It was her turn to gasp when he entered her after having given him such a provocative proclamation. The sounds of the world around them that had already faded, now diminished completely as they both succumbed to their passions. They emerged from the alley later arm in arm both feeling sated and still somewhat exhilarated from their tryst.

Jane's place…..

"Wow, you made it home," her roommate said the next morning in the kitchen while drinking coffee.

Jane had just entered and got the cup that was offered to her.

"Yeah, I know, but we won't see each other for Christmas so we have to squeeze all our time in now."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," she said begrudgingly, "and yes I will go back to Lawndale with you guys."

"So what's he doing for the holiday?"

"He's visiting his sister."

"When does he leave?"

"Thursday."

"So I shouldn't expect to see you until then?"

Her friend smiled at her in answer and left to catch a shower before leaving again.


	18. Chapter 18

"Ho, ho, ho," Jane said trying to sound jovial as she entered Anthony's apartment and gave him a light peck on the lips.

"You seem festive," he noted taking in the rosy cheeks and something in her eyes that seemed elusive.

"Just trying to get into the holiday spirit. Hope you don't mind me just swinging through?"

"Not at all. I was just reading."

He smiled at her as she stood before him looking reminiscent of her high school self, only with so much more wisdom in her beautiful face. She was wearing a long baggy red sweater and some skinny legged black jeans with her favorite pair of heeled black boots with the silver studs that she had painstakingly glued on over the course of one Saturday evening and a large pizza shared by her best friend.

"So what brings you by? Not that I'm complaining. I thought that we had plans for tomorrow?" He watched as she sat on the loveseat and reclined slightly.

"We do, I was just….." she faltered slightly losing a bit of her nerve.

"…..in the neighborhood?" he teased gently, unaccustomed to this side of her, but liking it none the less.

"No, I was not in the neighborhood," she said adamantly trying to regain herself. "I spoke to professor Zegmnd and he said that my piece, although very good, it didn't win." She averted her eyes to anything else but his.

"Jane….."

"Don't- I don't want pity." She wrapped her arms around herself as a steadying method.

"I don't pity anyone as talented as you." His voice was earnest as he spoke. "The ones that I truly pity," he sat beside her and turned her face to his, "are the ones that have to go against you in the next or any other competitions."

"I really thought that I was gonna win after I had finally got that whole lighting situation under control."

"I know," he gently smoothed the fall of hair from her face. "Come here," he pulled her into his arms.

"Thing is," she said after a moment, "I wanted to win for me, but for my family too. Trent is on the upswing and he and The Spiral are gonna make it, I can feel it in my bones. I want the name Lane to have a presence in the artistic community and not make being artistic a dirty word that parents recoil at when teachers use it to describe their children….. That sounds so vain." She buried her face in her hands.

"No, it doesn't. It sounds like a determined woman that knows what she wants and there's no shame in that. You have a right to want to better yourself in whatever way that you choose; don't ever doubt that." He continued stroking her hair and they sat in silence for a few moments more.

She kissed him, but he pulled her back to look at her again.

"Just let me hold you for a while." He voiced the velvety request to which she nodded and she eased back into the comfort of his arms and allowed the blanket of his emotions to cloak her. His breathing slowed eventually lulling her into slumber.

_Damn he smells good! No- wait, that's bacon. Do not lie to me nostrils of mine._

She semi reluctantly opened one eye and realized that Anthony was no longer with her on the couch. She sat up slightly and realized that she wasn't disoriented; she'd become accustomed to this place- to him.

"Thought you might be hungry," he placed the tray that held their sandwiches and bowls of soups, on the table in front of her. "I'll go and grab us something to drink."

He left and she sat up straighter and folded the throw that he must have placed on her when she had slept.

"Hope lemonade is okay?"

"Sure." She took it and sipped at it, while he reclaimed his seat beside her.

"It's a BLT, minus the tomato and plus some pepper jack cheese and tomato soup with a tiny dollop of sour cream in the middle." He offered her a bite of the sandwich that he'd picked up and she bit into it feeling a closeness to him that was familiar and comforting.

_This is nice. He is….. Nice._

"What's going on up there?" he asked her as he ate and saw how she was watching him.

"You're a nice guy is all."

"That's not a compliment," he stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Yeah it is," she said in an equally confident tone. "Why aren't you married?"

Many emotions crossed his face before he finally spoke.

"I almost was…..once."

"If I am overstepping, please just say so." Jane continued eating as casually as she could, but inside she wanted to know of this former love and what had happened.

"It's okay. It was a long time ago." He looked at her and used his index finger to trace the outline of her face, before coaxing her to snuggle up against his frame. "When she and I met….. Well I thought that we hit it off. We dated and I even introduced her to my folks. They liked her a lot."

_ Clipped sentences….. Could mean that he is still harboring some lingering feelings of some sort._

"…..then my brother came home on leave. Anyone with eyes could see that she was impressed with the suit and stories and stuff."

_ This is so Young and the Restless….._

"My brother and I weren't exactly close. He was older and thought that he knew everything and I was younger with something to prove… I asked her about it, but she said that she just liked his stories and that he reminded her of me in some ways. We even sealed the deal by becoming intimate. I was assured of her love for me then, so I told myself not to worry. That was a mistake. There was a dance in the Milton's barn and they were offering hayrides and everything; it was a real hoedown. I had pulled a double to take her, but the owner had an emergency so I had to stay. She wasn't happy, but I promised to make it up to her. As soon as I got off I went to see her; her mother told me that she and her friends had went to the hoedown as a group, so of course I wanted to surprise her. She wasn't in the main barn where the dance was, so I thought that she must have gotten bored and left." He looked distant, as though the past were being replayed for him once again. "I was getting ready to go when I heard some of my brother's friends talking. They were drunk and talking loudly about how his brother was nailing some high school chick out in the old coop. They didn't see me and the knot in my stomach grew. I had to find out for myself, so I went… Seek and you shall find. There they were in the hay, naked for the world to see and not giving a damn about anything other than each other."

_Man I really miss smoking right about now._

_ Screw the soaps, this is more like some Cain and Abel shit here._

"Part of me wanted to charge in there and beat the hell out of him and demand some answers from her…..but I didn't. I stood where I was and endured every grunt, every moan, every second of what I affectionately refer to as my own personal hell on earth. When they were finished….. I kept waiting in the shadows, for them to realize that what they had done was wrong, that they had hurt me." He took a tasteless drink from his lemonade. "I over estimated my importance. My name wasn't mentioned and there wasn't a single utterance of regret between them. They left arm in arm, the picture of young lovers."

Somewhere in the haze of the hurtful images of his mind, it registered that her arm that had been on his lap had tightened reflexively around him. It wasn't hard for her to picture a younger him standing there drowning in silent agony.

"I replayed that whole thing in my head. From the moment that I met her until that night. I replayed it all night. The next morning I woke up feeling surprisingly calm. Everyone acted so….. Normal, it was _almost_ like I had dreamed it. I looked at my brother when he spoke to me and I swear, I have no idea what he said to this day. I saw his lips moving, but it's like he was on mute. I continued with school and went to work. I didn't see _her_ until two days later. Do you know the first thing that she did when she saw me?"

Never had a pronoun sounded quite so sour or a rhetorical question so laced with acidity to Jane's ears. Her heart ached for younger Anthony and what he had gone through. She looked at his side profile: The usually soft eyes, now hardened in reflective memory, the strong jawline, now tightened with the clenching and unclenching of teeth were both testament to how the past, no matter how distant, could hurt people.

"She hugged me and asked why I had been avoiding her?"

He closed his eyes tightly and rubbed them with the hand that wasn't on her waist.

"Anthony….." she dared to speak after he hadn't continued for a while. "If you don't want to continue, I understand."

He released a ragged breath. This had been harder than he'd anticipated, but she might as well find out this crap now. Maybe she would do herself a favor and run screaming into the night and as far away from him as possible. He patted her on her hip.

"I looked into the eyes that I had trusted completely and I choked. I apologized to her and said that I had been busy with school and work or something. She kissed me on the cheek and said that it was okay, that I could make it up to her on our date later, then she was gone. She married my brother when I left for service."

Jane looked at him puzzled.

"So what did they say when you confronted them?"

"I never did. I was too much of a coward."

_No, you were in more pain than you realize._

"You never got to address your pain….."

"Oh, I addressed it in the battlefield, among other places." He looked down at the concern creasing her brows. "Don't worry about me; that happened long ago and I'm okay with it.

_ Not bloody likely._

"You can tell me that you've dealt with it, but don't tell me that you're okay with it. What happened wasn't okay. They hurt you and at the very least, they should feel bad about it."

"I hear you and it did take me a while but after everything finally hit me, I took a hard look at my life and decided that I needed to clean house. I cut them out of my life and every time I felt myself beginning to slip back into that cesspool of emotion, I redirected my focus on my studies or making sure that my sister was well taken care of. Laurie is my true strength; she has the purest soul."

_He's like a different person when he mentioned her. Look at that…..he's smiling, truly smiling._

"Whenever I visit with her, she always draws me pictures of flowers. We go picking them in the summer in the field out back of the fa- her home."

"She sounds like a nice person."

"She's the best." He cleared his throat. "I should put these in the kitchen." He gathered the tray, now empty of its food and took it to the kitchen.

_Too much Anthony, you talked too much. Who wants to her your emotional baggage from a time before she was even born? She doesn't like strings…..and neither do you…..right?_

He rinsed the last dish, placed it on the rack, and stood there looking at his kitchen wall unaware that she'd entered behind him and had watched as he had assaulted the poor dishes while thinking. He soon felt the strong feminine arms around him and turned to face her still caught in her embrace.

"…..just let me hold you for a while," she whispered in his ear and that's how they stayed for a while

…until the ringing of her phone brought them back to the present.

"What?" she answered her phone annoyed, then looked at him with a sigh as she listened to the person on the other end.

"Shalah has one-"

More listening.

"Okay and you so owe me."

More listening.

"No more than one; I'll let you know how many."

She hung up the phone and let her head fall against his chest in frustration.

"Let me guess, you have a friend in trouble and you have to help?"

"My roommate left her key in the apartment and Shalah is in a late class study thing or something."

"You always help your friends; that's sweet."

"Well I guess that's just the kind of sweet _bitch_ I am," she smiled at him with that wicked gleam that shone in her eyes.

"About earlier. I'm sure your friends tried to comfort you, but I'm glad you told me too and I meant what I said. Anyone going up against you in the future had better watch out," he declared gently caressing her chin.

"Thanks and I'm sure my friends would be supportive if I had told them. I came to you first." She tried to shift her eyes, but he wouldn't let her and their eyes locked for a long moment. "I should go."

"Thank you for…..everything."

"You too Anthony. See you tomorrow."

The unexpected exchange of the day left them both feeling closer than either had expected.


	19. Chapter 19

11 am move in day…..

She entered the apartment and paused to look at the scene that lay before her. She hadn't but a few sparse pieces of furniture that were either given to her or gotten from thrift stores, but all had been brought in a placed in the appropriate spots by Jesse, Trent, Max, Nick, and her best friend of course. It had been quick and relatively painless if you didn't count Max's splinter incident.

"I can't possibly be expected to drive back under the circumstances," Max was yelling at Nick when Trent, Jesse, and Jane reentered the apartment after having waved off Jane's best friend.

"It was just a splinter you douche'," Nick replied looking disgusted. "'sides, I've had a couple already and you agreed."

"Look, I'll drive the Tank back," Trent mediated. "Jesse, will you drive my car back?"

Jesse nodded, glad that he didn't have to endure Max and Nick's arguing on the ride back. When they got like this it was a headache and royal pain in the ass all around and he had taken care of them the last time.

"You got everything you need?" Trent directed the question to Jane.

"Yeah, thanks….." she threw her arms around him in a rare burst of emotion.

"Take care…..and call me, for anything." Trent said in her ear.

"Isn't it magnificent?" Jane asked Jesse once they'd reentered her place.

"Yeah, cool apartment. How'd you even find this place?"

"Bobby's uncle owns the building."

"You're still dating him?"

"Nah….. We're just friends now."

He raised a brow at her, but said nothing.

"What?" she asked noticing the raised brow.

"What happened with you two? You liked him."

"It just wasn't working for us," she shrugged. "Wanna some lunch?"

"Always," Jesse followed her into the kitchen to survey the refrigerators contents.

_True to the Lane name, there's not nary a thing. Well at least there's no red stuff in the freezer…..yet. Why didn't I think to get groceries again?_

"Looks like we need to get to the grocery store and quick," she said shutting the fridge and facing him.

"Looks like….." he trailed her to the car and they went to the nearby market that they'd seen when they'd driven up.

"I seriously don't think that I will need _that _many ramen noodles." Jane stated watching as Jesse painstakingly put away the exorbitant amount of noodles, by flavor no less; he'd insisted every college student had to have them as some sort of rite of passage. Hearing his insistence on something that she'd considered 'no big deal' and his convoluted logic behind it had convinced her to let him get the damned things.

_And what happens if you run out of money and Trent or I can't get up here?_

"It's just in case…..for when you're doing all that school work and don't feel like getting anything. You know how you get when you're into a project."

"Mmmmm…..so what shall we feast on today?"

"I got us something from the deli."

"I thought that was for your ride home and you paid for my groceries, what gives Moreno?" she demanded with her hands on her hips.

"I felt bad that I didn't get you a house warming gift or something. It's not a big deal."

_Yeah it is. You're still looking out for me._

She hugged him.

_Ah, hell….._

He wrapped his arms around her and held her for a few moments before clearing his throat and turning back to the food.

"I hope these deli sandwiches are okay. The soda isn't that cold and I don't think your ice trays are ready. Tap water?"

"I'll chance the soda," They moved to sit in the other room on the sofa while they ate. Jane flicked on the television and popped a tape in the old VCR that she'd found at a roadside yard sale.

_ Look at her; she still watches that old show….._

"What are you smiling about over there?"

"Nothin' you're gonna do really good in college Jane."

"…..we shall see."

They ate and talked allowing the comfort of their friendship to wash over them. With all the changes taking place in her life, this familiarity was something that she'd always sought when she needed refuge. She watched as he ate and stretched on the couch where he sat and a warm flush came over her. Here he was and there she was. There was nothing and no one to stop them from acting on something that she'd been curious about for a very long time.

She stood facing him, almost eye to eye, then ever so tentatively she placed a hand over his heart. She could feel his heartbeat racing, it mirrored her own. She felt his hands cover hers and bring them to his lips for a gentle kiss. Their eyes stayed connected during this exchange and he placed her arms around his neck to draw her body against his. The kiss was gentle and served as an exploratory of something familiar and exciting. His arms around her waist tightened slightly for a moment before sliding his hands down her sides and around to cup her taunt behind. Her hands traced the contours of his face and she looked into his eyes.

"You sure?" his voice was husky.

She nodded slightly.

"I trust you Jesse." Her voice was soft and sure.

They kissed again. She allowed her hands to roam over his torso beneath his shirt and enjoy the feel of his well-defined muscles. His hands pressed her closer then made their way to her waist where the tee that she wore was pulled from the waist of her jeans and they could explore the flesh beneath. The feel of his hands on her flesh made her quiver with nervous excitement and anticipation.

"It's just me Jane," his voice was thick and comforting. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his lips on the slope of her neck.

She heard low guttural moan and realized that it had come from herself. She felt something building in her- it was a force that she didn't want to deny, so she didn't. She kissed his neck, mirroring the things that he was doing to her at first, then deciding that she needed more, she discarded of his shirt and hers. The momentary breach of contact only made them hunger for more.

_She's so soft and so beautiful. I have got to take this slow- for her- make it spe-, she just undid my top button of my jeans-_

He held her shoulders, effectively stilling her, well except for her hand that remained poised on the zipper of his jeans.

"Am I doing it…wrong…?" she asked becoming slightly apprehensive about her assertiveness.

He could only shake his head…..mostly to clear it. His body and his mind were at war over what to do. His mind wanted to make this as perfect as he could for her, she deserved that, but his body-

"I don't want to mess this up for you. You're just so…..special."

She swallowed and he couldn't help but to stray to the rise and fall of bra clad breasts, before returning to her face.

"So what's the problem?"

"What I should do and what I want to do….."

"What do you want to do?" she asked softly with surprised curiosity at this unexpected side of Jesse.

"….." seconds ticked by in his hesitation, "…..everything that I ever thought of."

Encouraged by knowing that she wasn't doing anything wrong she slowly unzipped his pants as she spoke.

"Really? Like what?"

His lips curved upward.

"Well first," he undid her jeans and unzipped them in the same manner that she had done to him, "I want to look at you." He removed her jeans and then his own.

They both took in the others appearance with complete approval. She took in the wide massive muscular shoulders that tapered down from the strong chest to the tapered abs, then there was coverage in the form of boxer briefs, where she lingered on the bulge, and then on to his powerful thighs and calves. He drank in the sight of her as well. The angular features of her face were the kind that would accompany him on many a dream for years to come. The pale creaminess of her neck was now slightly marred from the intensity of his kisses and ministrations, yet it beckoned him for more. His eyes went on to openly admire the lovely b-cup clad breasts in the striped bra. Her stomach was flat and toned, the high cut striped bikini's matched the bra and showed off the length of her legs and the beauty of their strength and definition.

"Mmmm..…tell me more," she encouraged as she put her arms around his waist and resumed exploration of his neck with her mouth.

"Now….. I need to taste you," he picked her up by the waist and put her on the bed, then crawled on top so that he could kiss her on the mouth fully before letting his mouth cover the maddening rapid pulse beating in her neck that had been driving him crazy. He kissed his way down to her breasts and quickly unsnapped the front clasp so that he could take one into a one hand while lavishing the other with tongue and teeth everywhere except the nipple. When his lips finally covered her nipple she let out a deep moan. He teased her gently at first and then a bit rougher as she moved her body beneath his in a rhythm as old as time itself. He switched to give the other breast the same treatment then made his way down taking a playful bite just below her navel. He kissed her abdomen, then moved down to where he could kiss, suckle, and tease her inner thighs. She was writhing now, with want and need coming to a head. He repositioned himself so that he could remove her panties, as well as his own while slipping on protection. As he did so, their eyes caught and he was slightly caught off guard by the intensity that hers held, but what an incredible vision she was lying nude before him and spread out for him to feast upon. He tasted her core then and immersed himself in it completely. He started with a restrained gentleness that turned into a thirst for her that needed to be quenched. Her hips met the thrusts of his tongue and she had wound a hand in his hair, while the other squeezed at her breast.

"Je- Jesse-" she panted.

J_ust listening to her is gonna make me cu-. That's it, enjoy every second my love._

He greedily took in the sweetness that erupted from her, then brought his mouth to cover hers again. Eyes connected, he poised himself so that he could enter her slowly, just a bit at first, then a bit more. He felt her tighten around him as he came into contact with her virginal wall. He kissed her deeply and then with one thrust he broke through. He remained still within her after she'd cried out at the expected, yet painful merging. As gently as possible he began making small thrusts. She surprised him again by quickly joining in the rhythm, for even through her soreness her body wanted more. She caught his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. Thrust for thrust and stroke for stroke they matched one another until they both cried out as she reached her peak and him soon after her. He rolled them both over so that they were on their sides as he held her close.

_ So that was full blown sex. Pretty A-freakin-mazing. Oh, Jesse…..now what have we done?_

_ She'd always said that she wanted to keep things light and simple…..no strings….._


	20. Chapter 20

**Immediately Afterwards…..**

_I wonder what he's thinking…_

_ Wonder what she's thinking….._

"I….."

_Love you…._

"Think we should shower," she kissed the tip of his nose, while enjoying the feel of his arms around her.

"You go ahead; I'll be there in a sec." He gave her one last squeeze before watching as she left for the bathroom. He laced his hands behind his head and lay back for a moment thinking.

_ I could make this work. I can save up from the gigs- we seriously need to get it together, so that we can get more gigs- and come see her on some weekends. Maybe by then Trent will be ready to make his move on the bookworm, but first….._

He got up and hurriedly changed the sheets, before entering the bathroom. There through the steam of the shower she stood in steady stream of water that ran from the top, making her raven colored hair become slick against her head that was bowed in concentration on the arms that she was alternately lathering.

"You gonna stand there all day looking or join in?" she asked playfully without looking up.

He didn't waste time debating that no brainer and joined her. That shower served as their own magical place. They were on a private island beneath a waterfall. He had both hands on her shoulders touching her so gently as though she might break. She quivered at the feel of his lips on the back of her neck.

_Jesse Moreno…..those lips…and now those hands…oh- both!_

After they'd gotten one another clean- thoroughly and deliciously, they found themselves in the kitchen her in a tee shirt and him in his boxer briefs with his arms around her waist and his face nuzzling the crook of her neck, while she attempted to fix them something to sate the reemergence of their appetites.

"You know," she squirmed slightly at the feel of his fingers grazing the underside of her ribs, "I'm not very good in the kitchen as is, but-"she let out an involuntary giggle, "if you keep doing that-"she put down the bread that she had been trying to put mayo on and let her head fall back against his chest.

"Okay, kay." He extricated himself from her and went back to the bedroom. He was back a few moments later with her cd player in hand. He set it on the counter and soon the sounds of Depeche Mode's: 'Enjoy the Silence' pierced the air. She smiled as she watched him as he mouthed the words to her while dancing and pulling her to do the same. They danced with exuberance until he caught her in his arms, looked into her eyes and on the last verse and sang the lyrics loud enough for her hear.

_ Me too, Jesse. Me too._

"Jesse," she caressed the side of his face. This was all so new for them, but it felt so right. Jesse had always been there for her and she liked- loved their closeness. Everything just seemed to…..fit and she didn't want to mess things up, not with him.

"…..enjoy the silence…." He whispered and swatted her bottom playfully with a rueful smile at her yelp.

_You're mine Moreno, for always and forever…..you're mine._

"That food isn't going to fix itself."

He walked her backwards into the kitchen area, unwilling to let her out of his arms just yet. They resumed their earlier positions of her attempting to make the sandwiches, while he had his arms around her waist and lightly nuzzled her neck.

"So how long do you think before Trent realizes that you haven't returned with his ride?"

"I'll call him tomorrow."

"That isn't much time…" she sighed.

"I'll take whatever I'm given…."

"What happens when you leave?"

She felt him go still around her.

"What do you want to happen?"

"It's not really about what I want to happen though. You're there and I'm here."

He felt the declination of his heart as surely as if he'd seen the crack in it firsthand.

"I know you don't do the long distance thing, so…..let's just see what happens when we see each other again. If we want to see each other when we can, then so be it."

She nodded. She didn't do the long distance thing; what will be, will be and all she could do was hope for the best. Until then she would enjoy this time with him. The next day after assuring Trent that everything was okay with his ride, Jesse leaned against the car looking at Jane as she stood before him shifting from foot to foot.

"Well I guess this is it….."

"I guess….."

"I'll see you around Moreno….."

"See you 'round Lane….."

They stood a moment more, both wanting to say or do more. He straightened up and pulled her into his arms. How could something so comforting be so painful too? He got into the car and after a couple of tries, he got it to crank.

"Jesse?" she leaned into the rolled down window. He looked into the blue eyes that belonged to his anchor and leaned forward enough so that their foreheads touched. "No matter what happens…..we'll always be us…..okay?"

"No doubt." He kissed the tip of her nose and they pulled apart so that he could hit the open road back to Lawndale. Similar thoughts plagued them both as he'd pulled off and she'd returned to her apartment.


	21. Chapter 21

"Evening Jane, Ms.-"

"Oh please, call me Robin," she joked in her normal dry mannerism.

"As you wish- _Robin_," Anthony greeted the young woman as she entered his apartment behind her best friend.

"Is Ted coming?" Jane asked as they proceeded to the front room and took seats on the couch and loveseats.

"Yes, he's just running a little late."

"May I get you ladies something to drink?" Anthony offered from the doorway of the adjoining kitchen.

"Sure?" They answered in union.

He returned to the room with their drinks in hand and joined Jane on the sofa.

"I understand that you are working at a publishing company. Pursuing the taming of the quill?" Anthony addressed the young lady that was watching them over the rim of her glass that she'd taken a sip from.

"More like trying to avoid getting stabbed by it," she remarked. "I'm only doing some articles, but it does pay so….." she shrugged in noncommittal fashion.

"Don't be so modest. What about the online articles that you're doing?" her friend countered. "You've already got a real following on there."

"It's okay." She said demurely, uncomfortable in the spotlight. "What about you? Have you heard anything from the committee about the piece that you entered into the contest?"

"Actually," she felt Anthony's comforting presence near her and the reassuring warmth of his hand on the small of his back, "I didn't win." She tried to make her voice sound lighter than she actually felt, but her friend could tell that there was more to it.

"I'm so sorry Jane," was her simple statement. "I know that contest meant a lot to you."

"Se la vie," she took another drink and made to go and get a refill, but Anthony took her glass and went to do it for her. She smiled in thanks as he went to the kitchen.

"You two seem…..good together."

"We are."

The knock at the door signaled the arrival of Ted and they soon sat down for dinner and pleasant company. The mix of company proved to be a good one and not at all uncomfortable as some had thought that it might be.

"Well that was painless," Jane said after their guests had left and she now faced Anthony in the kitchen where he was doing the dishes and she was supposed to be drying them, but was leaning against the counter giving her assessment of the evening.

"Yes, I rather enjoyed it. Do you think I passed inspection?"

"That's not what this evening was about. I don't need my friend's permission to see you. I just thought that it would be nice to include you in other parts of my world…..also, should I go missing, there has to be someone that they point the police towards."

"Bite your tongue with that kind of talk Miss Lane," he tried to take the dish rag from her, but she held on and he managed to pull her into his arms instead.

"I can think of other things to do with my mouth thank you very much," she teased.

He kissed her lightly on the mouth before taking the towel and returning to the dishes.

"So your brother doesn't mind his girlfriend and her ex…..having dinner together?"

"A dinner that his sister is at and besides, Trent isn't all territorial like that, he's a trusting soul."

"He's also human too. I'm just saying that navigating the rocky waters are hard enough one on one. Adding exes to the mix is sure to bring up some…..issues."

He finished the last of the dishes and they made their way back to the front room. She had gotten a box from her bag and now sat before him with it.

"Sorry about the cliché," she said shrugging her shoulders, "but I saw this and I knew that it was made for you," she watched as he unwrapped the box. He pulled out the cognac colored tie with iridescent flicks of the fiery gold that she saw pronounced in his eyes more so when he was impassioned by something…..or someone.

"This is so nice…..thank you." He held the tie looking at it for a moment.

_This thing probably costs more than I make in a month. She shouldn't have spent so much._

"I hope that this can serve as some use for you," he handed her the long silver box with the large red ribbon.

She looked at the big box and held it out for a moment. She wasn't one for the commercialism of the holidays, but she did enjoy all of the shiny wrappings. She would often make collages out of the old wrappings that she would find strewn about in the garbage cans of the neighborhood when she was little. She had stopped though, when she had overheard another kid from her class telling others that they had seen her and thought that was how she got her food and why she was so thin. She'd never told Trent about that, but the sting of those words had stayed with her. The words had made her look at what she had always considered a life of fantastical adventure, with the harsh and critical eyes of an outsider. She'd never considered herself as poor, but she knew that she wasn't rich- at least not with money. Her parents had always allowed her and her siblings a great deal of latitude to explore and learn about whom they are as people without the constraints that everyone else had, and she valued that a great deal, but to others it might appear as though she weren't cared for or was neglected. She'd squared her shoulders at the thoughts that she was sure to encounter as she grew and made the conscious decision that as long as she had Trent, the rest of the world could be damned. She knew that he would always be there for her just as she would be there for him. Her family grew with the addition of Jesse and her best friend and now Shalah; she would be forever grateful for them…..and now there was this unexpected joy in Anthony.

"Open it," he urged at her hesitation. He enjoyed watching how she opened it with such curious wonder on her face. "Let me help you try it on," he suggested taking the crimson cashmere blend, high collar, knee length, leather belted trench coat with the asymmetrical pockets, and leather trim from her hands and holding it for her to put on.

"Anthony," she looked into his smiling face, "this is too-"

"Perfect for you," he finished for her.

_I couldn't have done better if I had made it by hand. She is a woman that would look good in rags, but the riches sure do accentuate her beauty. I knew it when I saw the color; it's her signature color I suppose…..she seems to love it._

"Thank you." She took off the coat and put it back in the box carefully. "I have something else for you," she said around a playful smile.

"Do tell?" he leaned back against the couch and watched as her all black clad figure rose and took a couple of long strides to her purse where she made an exaggerated deal of searching through it, while giving him a perfect view of her behind as she 'accidentally' wiggled it back and forth when attempting to retrieve whatever it was that she was looking for. She turned around with her hands behind her back and walked back to him. She stood over him looking down at the expectation etched so handsomely upon his face. "Should I close my eyes?"

"I thought you might prefer me to close mine," she took out the black blindfold and tied it around her head so that her eyes were covered. She could hear as he shifted to a standing position.

"A beautiful woman blindfolded….."

"And doing whatever you like," she whispered near the mouth that she could feel near hers.

"Mm…." He kissed one side of her neck then without laying a hand on her, he circled around to the other side to kiss the other side. "You present a most intriguing picture," he whispered. His hands went to the buttons on her black shirt and with each one that he undid, he kissed a particular part of the back of her neck; those actions caused a series of shivers to pass through her body in anticipation of what was to come. Once all the buttons were undone, he didn't remove the shirt immediately, instead he took a moment to look at her. She stood perfectly still, her shiny black hair floated around her in waves in stark contrast to the powdery paleness off her skin and ruby red adorned lips. The black button down that she wore, hung open showing the flat, toned abs before tapering down into the black leggings that she wore with her black heeled boots. He carefully let the shirt fall off her shoulders, as if in slow motion, landing half on the couch and half off.

_Jane, Jane you're driving me insane….._

She felt his chin rest on her shoulder, once he had positioned himself behind her again. His hands were positioned on both of her hips. He kissed her neckline again slowly, languidly while his hands moved in their own slow accord across the front of her thighs until the tips grazed each other when they met to softly cup the insides of each of each thigh. Only the slight catch in her throat betrayed the desire that she'd been keeping at bay. He massaged the area gently, going slightly higher each time, all the while planting kisses down her spine. It was the last kiss at the base of her spine that elicited a wanton sound from her.

_Gotcha! _

_Son of a- Turning the tables on me DeMartino…..nice._

He stood and encircled her waist from behind again, before leading her to the bedroom.

Morning…..

"What time are you leaving out?" Jane asked Anthony as she lay in his arms. She was glad for the darkness of the room for she really didn't want him to see what she imagined to be an anxious look on her face.

"Sometime around ten, I want to make it there in time for lunch and check in to the hotel." He ran a hand up her arm and hugged her closer. "I'll miss you."

She turned in his arms so that they faced each other. She could only make out the outline of him in the inky darkness of morning, but it was important to her that she took in as much of this time with him as possible.

"Me too….."

"I should be back right after the New Year. Would you like to get together then?"

"Yeah…..sure."

_What the hell is wrong with me? I can't believe that I'm upset. He's going to see his sister and he obviously made those plans before we got involved, besides I will be in Lawndale giving my brother support._

"Jane, I-"

"Don't sweat it. I'll be back in Lawndale so everything is all good." She said in a nonchalant voice and sitting up.

"Hey," he sat up next to her alarmed at the feeling that she was pulling away from him, " You know that I'm gonna miss you like crazy right?"

She nodded, but realized that he might not be able to see her, "…..Yeah."

_Why the hell does my voice sound so shaky? Get it together girl, no one likes a needy chick. Just go with what you know and everything will be okay._

"Lane, we-"

His words were lost in the kiss that she planted on him. They shared themselves both giving one another the things that neither were prepared to say aloud and as time drew near for their inevitable parting they found themselves standing in the familiar frame of his doorway.

"I'll call you when I get settled," he ran a thumb across her bottom lip. "Have a good time with your brother and best friend."

"I will…..and I want you to enjoy your time with your sister," she meant that. She couldn't imagine not having Trent in her life and spending time with him. They kissed a kiss of the promise of a next time and reluctantly parted with each holding on to thoughts of the immediate things that were before them, instead of how long it would be until they met again.


	22. Chapter 22

The past shapes our future, whether we like it or not. The good, the beautiful, the bad and the ugly, they all have their say in the person that we ultimately become. The things that we take from these lessons in life can either elevate us to being closer to what we would like to become and achieve or send us down a path of self-destructive behavior that infects everyone that it touches. It is important to remember or remind those that we see on this path that even in the darkness there is a calmness that can be found until the light within us shines bright again.

Lawndale…..

Jesse, with cup in hand, opened the back door to stop the loud knocking of Jane. He had heard her the first few times, but she wasn't leaving, so he thought it best to just hear her out before sending her away.

"What the hell man? Hiding out in here, while I freeze my ass off? Not very hospitable," she marched in kicking the door shut behind her while rubbing her hands together. "And why is it almost as cold in here as it is out there?"

"Cause I was in my room. What is it Lane?"

"_It_ is the holidays and you are ignoring Trent and myself when we call."

He went and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Come on Jess, how do you say no to a good home cooked meal? 'Sides, ole Jakey has really stepped up his game in the kitchen. He cooks _good_ food now." Jane watched as Jesse proceeded to take another sip from the cup without looking at her.

"I'm not going." He finally said and took another drink.

"You lied to us about wanting to spend Christmas with your mom," she stated in a matter of fact tone with her hands on her hips.

He looked at her fully from where he was sitting at the kitchen table, slowly rose, and went to open the back door that she'd come in.

"Get out."

She blinked several times. He had never spoken to her with such unflinching coldness.

"Are you mad at me about something?"

_Never….._

"I just want to be alone." He left the door open and resumed his position back at the table, cup in hand. "…..and I didn't lie."

_I did want to spend some time with my mother, but she had plans with her sisters since I usually do something with the band._

Jane took a seat across from him and looked at him good. He looked like he hadn't had a good night sleep in forever.

"I thought that I should give you space over the Thanksgiving break, but maybe you should talk about it. What happened between you and this girl? Who is she?"

_For the love of- Well, why the hell not?_

"She is someone special…."

"Is? So she's still in your life?"

"No- not like that she and I are…..friends."

"What did she say when you told her how you felt?" she asked gently covering his hand with hers.

"I didn't tell her. I couldn't." He took another drink from his cup and effectively managed to remove his hand from her grasp, something that did not go unnoticed. "She's otherwise occupied with another."

"Maybe it's not serious. You should talk to her."

"She has fallen in love with him."

"Is that was she told you, because if you're misreading the situation-"

"She doesn't even know it yet." He drained the remainder of the cup and refilled it again while she spoke.

_Thank God for this_ _Kahlúa__ …..Or maybe not. I don't want to get too much like Trent._

_Geez Jesse! Give yourself a chance! Don't just shoot yourself down without even trying._

"Then this is all just conjecture. How could you possibly know for sure? You're just letting your fears get the better of you.

"I know because I have known her in ways that have forever brought me both joy and pain. I know what it's like to see her in morning light, still asleep with a bit of drool because we stayed up too late watching something she thought might be worth picking apart with that clever wit of hers." He gave a low chuckle then, as though recalling something humorous that she'd said. "I know because I have had the privilege of being her confidant at times, so I have held her when she has cried. I have laughed with her and I have watched her grow stronger and smarter into the beautiful woman sitting across the table from me now."

_First time I've ever seen her at such a loss for words…..almost worth this gut wrenching pain….._

"Jesse….."

"Don't say my name like that. I'm okay- really. We don't do pity remember." The gentle teasing reminder of days past lay in his eyes, even if it were distant.

"No pity here. It's just- why didn't you ever say anything?"

"You have always been very…..vocal about not doing the long distance thing. Then there was other crap going on back then, plus I didn't want to have you thinking so much about us and mess up your school stuff."

_That's that same bull hockey that Trent used._

"You didn't think that I could handle it?"

"I didn't want you to have to. You're so good at what you do I would never want to be the cause of messing that up for you."

_Shit…..and I thought that I had handled things so smartly by rolling with what I thought you wanted. _

The cold from outside seem to filter in even more through the open door, causing them bother to shiver…..or perhaps it was this tone of the past that had reared its head like a bittersweet reminder of what might have been had decisions been made differently.


	23. Chapter 23

The past…..

"Okay, rule number one: Keep it simple," Jane stated while she lay on his bed with the length of her legs against the wall and she watched him as he strummed absently on his guitar in the recliner that he and Trent had found on some Spiral outing.

"Okay, rule number two: "Always be safe, but that should be rule number one," Jesse said without looking up.

"Keeping is simple is being safe," she quipped, but that goes without saying. Always use protection, yadda, yadda, yadda….." she spoke with impatience.

Jesse looked at her trying to gage exactly how much of her flippancy was real and where her line was at.

"Okay, rule number three: No over nighters, sends out the wrong message. It's all about having a good time and not having any entanglements. Rule number four, mmm….." she thought it over for a few moments, "I got it; rule number four check your feelings at the door."

"You really think that you can just keep your distance like that?"

"Sure, why not?" she had flipped over on her stomach and watched as he strummed a random tune.

He shrugged.

_She's really not like other girls._

"Why are you doin' all this?...just curious," Jesse asked as casually as possible.

"I plan on enjoying myself, but I'd like to have some parameters set for myself, of course they are subject to change at any given time," she smirked.

_It's not like you said that you wanted to go steady or anything._

"You should enjoy yourself, but don't lose sight of what you're there for."

_You're killing me here Lane. Making me do a list like this is like saying it's okay for you to be with other guys- and yet here I am pretending that it's okay. Acting like nothing has changed for us…..or rather for me anyway….. _

"I know. I know. I am going to hone my craft and become even more awesome than I already am," she said in grand fashion. "…..hey Jesse?" her voice dropped to a more subdued tone.

He looked to where she had sat up to look at him.

"We never talked about….. Before, when I moved in and what happened afterwards."

He held his breath waiting for her to continue.

"I don't want it to change our dynamic. I want to still be able to talk to you about… you know- guys and stuff."

_Well say something you big lummox! Tell me that you don't want to even think about me dating another guy, let alone anything else! Tell me- tell me- just say that you care about me as more than a friend._

"Sure Janey, whatever you want."

_Don't sound so disappointed you idiot._

"I've gotta use the Jon," Jesse said quickly heading to his restroom across the hall as he spoke.

_!answers that. Trent always did say that you had a way with the ladies. I guess I just thought that I was something more….. Shit, he cannot see me like this._

Jane grabbed her purse and made to leave throwing out a 'gotta go' as she hurried pass the restroom door. Upon hearing the door shut signaling her exit, Jesse sank to the floor from where he had been leaning in the restroom. He unsuccessfully tried to concentrate on the cool of the linoleum on his bare feet instead of the tightness that he felt in his chest. He tossed his head back trying to get rid of the wavy locks that seemed to assault his face and ended up hitting the back of his head on the door. He hit the back of his head again, this time intentionally keeping a steadying rhythm in an effort to forget about the stinging of the unshed tears in his eyes.

_…..she deserves more, she deserves more. _

"…..she deserves more," he choked out in a whisper into the empty room. "…..she de-" the tears left burn streaks as they were unwillingly released from his eyes. He ground them out with the back of his fists.

_Suck it up Moreno; you're not what she needs…..and you want what's best for her._

Jesse arose a long while later and washed his face. Looking at his reflection in the mirror. He knew that no matter what happened, he would never turn her away if she needed him, nor would he risk compromising Jane's future by getting her side tracked with him. He would do the right thing by her, in his mind, and remain her friend for as long as she needed him.


	24. Chapter 24

"Are you drunk?" Anthony asked of his late night caller, as he proceeded to roll over and become more awoke.

"A little," she admitted and sank back into the familiar covers of her old bed. She had convinced Trent to drop her off at home first because the alcohol was hitting her harder than she had anticipated and had planned on taking a shower and going straight to bed. Well, she'd taken the shower, but found herself needing to hear his voice. "How are you and how is your sister?"

"Laurie is so happy. They say that she has been doing really well. She seems to have a real firm grasp on her life. It's nice to see."

"I'm glad and what about you?"

"Me?" he seemed taken slightly aback. "I'm fine. I have a nice room with a decent view and I'm on the phone with you. How was the Christmas dinner? Helen come around and start seeing things your way?"

"She spent the entire evening dangling Quinn and her new relationship in my brother's face. The Spiral has really taken shape and that has been no small task for Trent. He's done better there and personally. He shouldn't have to put on some dog and pony show for her. She's basically saying that he isn't good enough."

He recognized and understood the fire that seemed to crackle through the phone line. She loved her brother and was extremely protective of him, a trait that he found refreshing and made her more endearing than ever.

"It was all I could do not explode." She finished her tirade and allowed herself to wind back down. "So," she allowed her voice to drop down a notch, "what are you wearing?"

He gave the low chuckle of amusement that she always found sexy.

"Let me guess, you are wearing…..pj's- blue printed."

_Not even close, Lane._

"Guess again," he suggested.

"Oh, my…..Let's see…..you opted for the boxers and obligatory Lifetime movie 'wife beater tee'- in puritan white no less," she finished triumphantly with a smile in the dark.

"Close- but no cigar; boxers only here. What about you?"

"Boxers only, eh?... Well, _I_ was lying her thinking about you so….." she let her voice trail off suggestively.

"I find it hard to believe that you are in your childhood home lying naked in your bed thinking of me," he mocked already caught up in visualizing the musings that he had just vocalized.

She gave a low, throaty and slightly teasing laugh.

"I'm not lying naked in bed thinking about you," she could feel the disappointment reverberate through the line and gave an inward minx of a smile. "I am, however, lying in my childhood bed and wearing the luxurious coat that you gave me- but otherwise completely unadorned."

"It's not nice to tease- at least not when I am not near enough to you to do anything about it."

"That's not teasing…..I'll let you get that," she said hearing the beep telling him that he had an incoming message.

"Elysian….." he murmured softly at the image that he'd just received.

"Anthony…..?"

"I'm here."

"Just so you know, _that_ is a tease."

"Indeed it is Miss Lane…..who, may I ask, took that provocative picture of you?"

"Why Anthony, is that a hint of jealousy that I hear?"

"…..curiosity, more or less….."

"I positioned the phone myself, on my easel with a timer so all I had to do was pose. The lighting might not be what I would normally choose, but given my slightly inebriated state and the whimsical nature I was in-"

"You'll get no complaints from me," he interrupted her ramblings.

"Good. I can't wait to see you again."

"Really, and why is that?" he asked with mock coyness.

"Put me on speaker," she said plunging past his playfulness, "Why, you ask…..because I would like to have you touching me. The right side of my coat has fallen open Anthony…..and I am allowing my free hand to caress the side of my face and neck because I miss the feel of your hand doing so."

She stared into the darkness of her room, imagining that is was his eyes that she saw returning the mounting need that she was feeling. On the other end of the line, Anthony had done as she asked and was listening with rapt attention to her every word. A soft catch in her breath, followed by a slow expulsion allowed for many provocative images to flash through his mind.

"That was my hand lightly brushing across the tip of my breast. Oh, how I wish that it were your lips," she let out a small moan. "Remember how your large hand would wrap around it and you would massage and tease me without ever touching the tip for the longest time? That's what I'm doing and pretending it's you, but my hand isn't as big as yours so I can't quite grasp it in the same way…..feels good though, but I miss your hands- and oh your mouth, but I'm jumping the gun here…..so to speak. What about you Anthony?"

After a moment of shallowed breathing that he fought to regulate, he spoke: "I would take my time and make sure that I got to see every single inch of that luscious body and take extraordinary care in making sure that you are…satisfied in every way possible. Did you have any preferences?"

"Mmm…..surprise me….."She groused coaxingly.

"I think that I would turn you over, so that I could…..kiss that sweet spot on the small of your back that makes you purr. Then I would continue the kisses up your spine and segue on around to give those breasts the attention that they so richly deserve….."

"…..Anthony?"

"-sorry, got lost in my imagination for a moment there."

_Me too…..man, I miss you and for more reasons than this….._

"We keep this kind of talk up and we'll melt our phones," her voice was still low and intimate.

"You started this….." he surmised.

"Yeah, I just wish that I could be _there_ to finish it."

His smile matched hers as her words came over the line.

"Me too. I miss you Jane."

"I miss you too Anthony."


	25. Chapter 25

"You okay?" Jane was asked by her best friend while they got the chips and drinks set up on the table.

"Yeah, what about you? Ready to show your wild side?" she said around a smirk.

_What is that look about Jane?_

"Mm…..a New Year's celebration of The Spiral's burgeoning success, sounds like fun," she made a face, "and we all know how much I love to party," she mocked.

"Oh, I think that you know full well how to have a good time, I always found it amusing that you were at a loss for words around Trent, but maybe that's because I was there," she mused as her friend turned to look at her with eyes full of fearful embarrassment of what Jane was suggesting that she'd heard. Jane's voice dropped to a loud whisper and she leaned in close to her friend. "I knew Trent had a wide range of vocals, but I think that you made him invent a few new ones…..that you matched of course. Maybe not in pitch, but certainly in enthusiasm and-" Seeing the beet red that immediately came to her friends face made Jane laugh. Jane loved the discomfort that this seemed to bring- it reminded her of the good old days.

"Jane, what- when- We thought-"

"Perfect," Jane clapped her friends shoulder and went to retrieve some more items for the table.

"Jane….." her friend trailed behind her.

"It's no big deal," Jane shrugged off. "Let's not get all serious about it. We're all adults here and it's not like I don't know that you guys are having sex. I just wanted to yank your chain, while you yanked my brothers-"

"Jane! Come on," she pleaded.

"Okay, okay." She held up her hands in mock surrender. "Let's get this finished, I want to catch a shower and change before everyone shows up."

_Maybe that will get me out of this funk. I'm not really use to this feeling…..loneliness. Damn it Anthony, I miss your ass…..among your other appendages. Oh, well suck it up, you'll see him soon enough._

The party was done in the non-traditional laid back style that the Lanes enjoyed. Jane looked at the familiar faces gathered in the different areas of her childhood home. Max and Stacey were huddled in the far corner, probably consoling one another and making plans to meet as much as possible while he's on the road and she is helping Quinn with that fashion show. Nick was on the couch with that Josie chick from Christmas and they were engaged in a heavy make out session that they were going to have to take elsewhere or take the party to another level. Jesse was listening to a couple of blondes that looked almost like twins as they prattled on about how excited he must be about the tour and how cool it would be for them to be able to say that they knew him before The Spiral hit it big. Before Christmas, they would have been side by side and he would be her cohort in making it through the evening without going insane, but of course that was before they had talked. The pain that she had seen in him and to know that she had unwittingly been the cause…it had stung and its venom had been left in the gaping wound of their friendship causing a chasm that neither had been prepared for. They would have to mend this before she returned to school. There was no way that she wanted time and distance to grow between them.

_We'll hash it out Jesse…..we have to._

She continued looking until she glimpsed Trent and her best friend in the kitchen engaged in what they thought was a private moment. The way he held her with such careful restraint, the look they both got when their eyes met, and the way she traced the outline of his features with such a delicate hand, made Jane groan on the inside. She glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that it was close to midnight.

_ I think I should go and call Anthony….._

"Happy New Year's Jane," Anthony's voice said from behind her.

She turned to where the voice had come from, certain that it had been her imagination, but to her delight, he stood before her. She didn't have a smart quip or funny saying that sprang to mind, so she did what they both wanted, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. There was no hesitation on his behalf either. He took her into his arms and returned the kiss with no small amount of vigor. Around them the New Year was rang in with the count down and streamers and the voices of jubilation…..

"So who's the Clooney?" One of Jesse's blondes sidled up next to Jane in the kitchen where Jane had been getting some punch. Jane glanced at her from the side.

"Anthony," Jane made to leave, but the girl stopped her.

"Jane," she spoke and Jane turned back, "nice."

Jane nodded at the young lady that was giving an appreciative look at Jane's choice. Jane smiled and headed back towards where Anthony was standing, but was side tracked by Trent.

"You could have told me it was him," Trent stated mildly. "Were you embarrassed or something?"

"No," she spoke definitely as they both continued looking at the subject of their conversation and Jane noticed with no small amount of curiosity that Jesse had made his way over to Anthony and after a few words, they headed outside, "…..I just wanted to be sure, before….."

"Before introducing me to your new boyfriend?" Trent teased.

"Come on Trent I've always introduced you to anyone that made it past date one, but this felt different from the start. Anthony and I have something…..special."

"I'm glad that you have someone in your life that you care for." Trent stated truthfully. "Just," he turned to look at her, "don't keep stuff from me. That's not our dynamic."

"Roger that. I didn't mean to though….."

"I know….."

"I should go find him." Jane felt better after having spoken to her brother. She chastised herself knowing that she could have told Trent without worry of judgement from him. He was always in her corner.

Outside

"You serious about her?"

Anthony took a good look at Jesse's muscular frame that faced him with more than just the random concern of a friend or surrogate brotherly affection.

"Yeah, I'm serious about her. What about you?" Anthony watched the flicker of emotions play across Jesse's face and knew that his suspicions of Jesse having more than a passing interest were correct.

"I love her." They stared at one another for a moment more. "But she doesn't love me- not like that." He bit his bottom lip for a quick second before continuing. "She and I- we'll always be friends."

"I wouldn't try and come between her and any of her friends- not that she would let me."

They both chuckled slightly at the thought of anyone forcing Jane to do anything that she didn't want to and Jesse had to nod in agreement. They looked to see Jane silhouetted in the doorway before spotting them and heading towards where they stood on the walkway. Jesse held out a hand to which Anthony took hold and both firmly shook.

"If you hurt her, I will end you," Jesse said looking at Anthony so that there was no mistaking that he was serious. Anthony gave the briefest of nods in understanding.

"What's up guys?" Jane asked coming up to them.

"Just catching up," Jesse remarked as he strolled back to the house.

"What was that about?"

"We just talked." Anthony took her into his arms as he spoke.

"About what?" she had her arms around his neck and both felt the need to be close.

"Guy stuff, you, the usual."

"Do tell?"

"Later. It's a new year and I want to continue bringing it in with you."

"Well alright," she laughed and enjoyed the feel of him in her arms with the cold air around them and the sounds of celebration as their backdrop.


	26. Chapter 26

"Jesse….." Jane faced her once lover and always friend in her old bedroom. There was no way that she would leave their friendship flailing in the wind, only to blow away with distance and time. Their friendship was more than worth fighting for, on both their parts. "I need to know how I can make this right."

_That's easy dump Demartino and realize that you love me instead._

"There's nothing to make right. You didn't do anything wrong." He was sitting on her bed at a slight recline so that he could look up at her face.

"So this is going to change things…..with us." She leaned against her closed door trying to gage his expressions.

"Everything changes Jane. Sometimes for the better," the words were like acid on his tongue.

"So…..just like that and we're- our friendship- gone?"

He went to take her hands in his and regretted the fear in her eyes that reminded him of the sad little girl that he would hold sometimes when she would be scared.

"Never that…..I won't lie to you, this whole thing stings like a bitch, but you're happy so….."

She raised a brow and ran the pad of her thumb over his knuckles.

"No one's that well-adjusted."

"Nah, but it sure does sound all noble and shit, right?"

They smiled at each other, both smiles were tinged with regrets.

"Tell you what," he touched his forehead to hers, "I will make a point to contact you once a week while we're on the road. I won't let our friendship go, okay?"

"…..and you'll continue to date- not just like the double mint twins from the other night, but if someone interests you- you won't close yourself off?"

He studied the seriousness of her face for a moment.

_She has no idea what she's askin'. Who in the hell else could possibly interest me after her?_

"…..I promise…..to try."

He took in these moments, trying to memorize how she looked, her smell, and the feel of her hands that were so warm in his.

_ Time is not my friend now, _

_ I've known it for a while._

_ Watching you slip away,_

_ I tried to do it with a smile._

_ Frozen in the past, _

_ My memories of a time not to be retold._

_ Knowing without a doubt, _

_ In these hands are the greatest treasure, I'll ever hold._

He brought her hands to his lips and kissed each in turn while holding her gaze.

_Move forward with time my gypsy Queen….._

_ Own whatever you do with that lovely smile._

_ Keep lighting up the room when you enter_

_ And I'll resign myself to the thought that once upon a time,_

_ You were mine….._

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. And there in her old room by the door, they clung to one another both holding on to the vestiges of their past in a joint effort to repair and restore something that they both held precious.

"I love you Jane." Jesse said around the lump in his throat and trying to see through the burning of tear stung eyes.

"I love you too Jesse." Her voice sounded suddenly foreign to her own ears. This hurt, but they were both willing to fight for their friendship and that spoke volumes to them both. She pulled away after a few moments, kissed his cheek, and looked at him. "Enjoy yourself on the road."

"Stay happy….."

"Right back at cha." She gave him a wink and they rejoined their friends outside for final goodbyes.


	27. Chapter 27

"So…..you and Mr. Moreno?"

"Yeah…..me and Jesse….."

They sat in silence for a few moments, lounging against one another, each waiting for the so-called right moment.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say here. Jesse…..he's- he's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. He would be there with Trent and we'd all hang out and stuff. He would be at our house when things were rough at his house and we would talk…..we became good friends."

"…..but then there was more…..?"

"Yeah," she admitted with a nostalgic smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "He and I always had a kind of extra thing between us- but we never went there. I think we were both afraid of messing up the friendship/family thing.

_ That obviously changed somewhere along the line._

"When- that mess with Tom happened, Jesse really showed who he was as a friend- as a person really. He could have easily taken advantage of me and I made it really easy for him to, but he didn't. He looked out for me and Trent. He let me vent and he resisted the urge to add commentary therefore keeping the fuel to that particularly blazing fire down to a minimum. He kept Trent busy by dragging him off to the gym or wherever as often as possible and was just an all-around great guy. We reached a kind of turning point then. We both wanted to see where things would go with us, but we decided to wait. I think he was worried about being a distraction for me," she spoke reflectively. "Only then I thought he was just pushing me away cause I was his best friends little sister. It wasn't until I left for college that I decided to go for it." She looked at Anthony's profile wondering for a moment whether or not she should continue with such candor.

_Ah, hell why change what works for us?_

He looked down at her face and gave an encouraging smile and gentle squeeze around her shoulders.

"When they moved me in- Jesse, Trent, and the gang- it was me that pushed things forward. I made my intentions with him quite clear…..maybe if I hadn't been so forward…..but then we wouldn't have had the small amount of time that we did and I don't think either of us would want that to change." She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed back the tears that sprang to the corners of her eyes. "He never told me how he felt and I guess I didn't either. I don't want to lose him Anthony. His friendship means so much," she turned slightly to face Anthony with wide eyes, "but I don't want you to think that I'm trying to play some game or something. What I felt for Jesse- in _that _way- I dealt with that a long time ago."

"Do you regret not knowing or not telling him?"

"I don't know…..yeah, I guess. Knowing that we both had feelings for each other and didn't make it known hurts….. I just wish that I hadn't hurt him." She lay her head back on his chest and allowed his presence and his fingers that absently traced circles on her arm, to soothe her.

"Sounds like you were both trying to protect each other. It also sounds like you two really need to talk and see where you stand now…..see if any of that-" he struggled slightly with the last, "relationship- can be salvaged."

"We talked and I know where I stand," she said in almost a whisper. "I stand- or in this particular moment, I lay right where I want to be- next to you." She couldn't look at him for fear that she may see even the tiniest hint of rejection.

It was his turn to swallow the lump in his throat. He knew how lucky he had been to have her interested in him for whatever reason, but to hear her lament about having feelings for him was something more than he could have ever hoped for.

"Next to you is where I want to be too." His hand reflexively tightened slightly around her arm.

**The Lodge later that night…..**

Jane lay awake next to Anthony's rhythmic breathing trying unsuccessfully to will herself to go to sleep.

_He's sleeping, why can't I? Cause you didn't say what you really wanted to today….. You could tell him now, while he's asleep. That way you will have at least have said it and tried it on for size._

"Anthony…..?" she whispered. "When we talked earlier today, that wasn't all that I had to say…..I wanted to tell you, that this time that I have spent with you has meant so much…..that_ you_ mean so very much to me. I'm just too much of a coward to say all of this to your face, cause what happens if I say it and you don't feel the same? I lose this beautiful thing that we have. Thing is, I don't think that I can keep quiet anymore, so here goes….. i love you Anthony Demartino….." Jane moved as quietly as she could to give him a soft kiss on the very surface of his lips then quickly curled back into place beside him feeling better about having revealed her feelings out loud, even if he hadn't heard her…..yet.


	28. Chapter 28

"I have to get to him- see him."

Jane watched as her roommate got into her clothes at breakneck speed while trying to maintain her composure, but there was no disguising the mounting panic in her already colorless face. Jane remained on the phone trying to reach one of the guys.

_ Someone pick up the damn-_

"Hello." The sleepy voice came over the phone.

"Jesse, where's Trent? What happened? How are you guys?"

"Hold on…..Jesse, Jesse, its Jane….." Max handed him the phone, got back into bed and promptly went back to sleep.

"Yeah….."

"You guys were in a fire and didn't call to let us know that you were okay?"

"How do you even _know_ about that? We're all okay though. Sorry."

"Where's Trent? There's someone here that really needs to speak to him." She turned to give her roommate a reassuring smile glad to see some relief coming back into her face.

"He's next door helping Nick get the kids settled. I don't know if he left his phone on the bus, but I'll have him call as soon as he gets in."

"Okay, great." Jane felt the tightness in her chest dissipate and it felt as though she could finally breathe again. "You sure everyone is okay?"

"Yeah, just tired is all."

"I'll let you get back to your sleep then."

"Later."

"Jesse?"

"…..this doesn't count as our weekly check in you know?"

He smiled into the phone.

"I know. Talk to you later."

_Love you….._

"Stay safe."

_Please stay safe…..love you guys….._

She hung up the phone and sat by her longtime friend on the bed.

"They're okay. Jesse's gonna have Trent call us as soon as he comes back to the room." They both sat back down on the bed trying to wrap their heads around the rollercoaster of emotion that they'd just experienced. "What now?"

"I'm gonna shower and…." she looked at Jane feeling helpless. "We could have lost 'em Jane….."

"I know….."

The pair stood in silent reflection.

"Jane, wait up," Shalah's voice stopped her from climbing the stairs to her sculpting class. She turned to her friend that appeared to be slightly winded from trying to catch up to her. "God girl, I had an energy drink and I can't keep up with you," she panted, to which Jane smirked. "Have you talked to Jesse or Trent, are they okay?"

"Yeah, they're all good. How'd you find out about it anyway? You're not really a news watcher."

"Are you kidding me? It's all over social media and you know that Quinn set us all up to get updates automatically on our pages. I take it you haven't seen the 'heroes acapella' either?" At Jane's blank stare, Shalah pulled out her phone and pressed the app for her social media and held it out to Jane. "See for yourself." Jane watched her brother and friends. They were covered in soot and trying to comfort a couple of kids that looked scared out of their minds. Trent was singing softly to the little girl and the others joined in and by the time they were done the kids seemed to be more at ease and the crowd around them were somewhat in awe. When finished, it started again on loop. Jane looked at the page some more and saw that there was an account about the bands heroic efforts and how grateful the town is. She looked at Shalah still somewhat confused.

_ Who had done all of this. The guys were probably not even out of bed yet and my roommate was just as shocked to find out what had happened as I was. –Quinn, she loved social media and kept in close contact with Brad, but she would have told her sister first….wouldn't she?_

"They sound really good," Shalah remarked looking at her screen again. "I tried to call Jesse. It went straight to voicemail though."

"Yeah- some of their phones got messed up or left on the bus. They stayed at a hotel. I know he'll call you as soon as he gets it back operational."

_ They certainly became close friends fast._

"…..as long as he's- all of them are okay."

"Are you- How are you and Duncan?"

Shalah looked away for a second and then back at Jane.

"Why don't you ask what you really want to know?"

"It's not my-"

"Bullshit." They both laughed out a bit of the nervous tension. They hadn't really talked since Jane had been back from Lawndale. "That's never stopped you before."

"Okay, then. What's going on with you and Jesse?"

Shalah looked at her friend for a moment before answering.

"Jesse and I are friends- good ones I hope. Did- I know that you two…..talked over the holiday….."

"We did. He and I are trying to maintain our friendship. It'll take some time, but it's what we both want."

Shalah nodded.

"Does Anthony know?"

Jane nodded.

"You two okay?"

"Yeah…..so, what about you and Duncan."

"That's something I would like to talk to you about, but not here." She looked around the steps as though just realizing that they were outside again. "I've been- I been back….to the club…..helping out." Shalah's voice was ridden with some shame accentuated by her lowered lashes and slightly bowed head.

"Okay then. Why don't you come over tonight? I have a late class, but I'm usually out by eight."

"I'll see you then."  
"Don't worry Shalah, we'll figure it out…..whatever it is."

"Thanks Jane."

Jane watched her friend as she slowly walked away before hurying in to join class and try to avoid the teachers glare for her tardiness.


	29. Chapter 29

"Okay, I have all of the comfort foods, a chick flick, and I am ready to listen." Jane sat on the sofa adjacent to Shalah and across from her roommate/best friend. "Now…..spill."

Shalah's eyes flicked across both women's faces before taking a drink from her glass and starting.

"Remember when we did that favor- at the club after Thanksgiving?"

Both girls nodded.

"It was so- so exhilarating. It was like I could feel every part of myself up there. I liked it…..a lot."

"No crime in that…..I had fun too." Jane didn't understand the problem. Her roommate looked at her and gave her a slight shake of the head to be quiet and listen, then both turned their attention back to Shalah.

"I went back for more. Barry offered me the same deal and I took him up on it. Thing is…..I haven't told Duncan and I don't want to stop right now. I like how it makes me feel."

"Are you afraid that Duncan will judge you?"  
"No…..yes, I mean-" she swallowed hard. "I hope that he wouldn't but-"

"But what if he does….." she small woman could relate to everything that Shalah was saying. It wasn't that long ago that she was in a very similar kind of situation herself. Both ladies had turned their attention on her. "Ted and I weren't working as a couple anymore, then that summer Trent and I kissed. It awakened something in me that I didn't know was there. I needed…..something, but I didn't want to use Ted. He's a good guy. So when Barry asked for my help with the presentation to his father for the club, I guess the seed was planted. I wasn't sure if I could actually go through with it, but I also needed some kind of release from the feelings that I was having without having to actually tell Trent anything concrete, so….."

"You worked it out- er, danced it out on stage," Jane surmised.

"Yeah, it helped me a lot." She shifted to a more comfortable position and ate a few of the popcorn from the bowl before her.

"What happened when he found out?" Shalah cautiously questioned.

She flashed back to the heated conversations following Tom's unauthorized reveal of that area of her life. "Trent was understandably upset, but more about the fact that I didn't tell him. He wasn't exactly a fan of me working there, but not telling him was like a lie by omission. We worked through it by talking though and now with him on the road, it's important that our trust stay intact."

"What if he- Duncan doesn't understand?"

Jane looked at her friend helplessly.

"Then don't you want to know the truth now? Doesn't he deserve the truth as well?"

Shalah's eyes reflected the range of emotions running through her.

"Be honest with him about what you're doing and why you're doing it. That way all of your cards will be on the table and for better or worse, you'll learn how he feels about it."

_I know that you're right Jane, but what if Duncan bolts? We just got back together really._

"Thanks guys," Shalah ate some of the m&amp;m's. "How's Anthony?"

"He's great- we're great. We had a really good talk- about Jesse and stuff."

Both ladies looked at Jane expectantly.

"I told him that I love him- well kind of in an indirect way. He was sleep." She looked at both of them and was surprised at their lack of surprise. "So you guys suspected. When?"

"Well, for me it was when you didn't refer to him as though you were dating him for sport- like a huntress the way that you usually do." Shalah admitted taking a swig from her glass.

"For myself it was when I found out that you had spent the night and broke one of your own rules. The look in your eyes when we were talking…..it was…..nice."

Jane cleared her throat and raised a glass.

"To us three and the lucky guys in our lives."

Here, here's were had by the other ladies and they all drank.

"Now that we have taken care of the matters of the heart," Jane leaned in towards them slightly, "tell me ladies what's your favorite position- sexually that is."

"So many to choose from," Shalah thought out loud. "I am currently a fan of what is commonly referred to as 'the cowgirl', only I like it when he's sitting up- so that we can kiss and stuff. Your turn." She directed to the young woman in glasses that had shrank back into her seat.

"I don't know what it's called, but…." She spoke somewhat shyly at first, but you could hear her courage growing as she spoke, "I would say that it starts out as missionary, but our legs are scissored so that one of each of ours is on the outside. This allows for closeness and excellent penetration."

_Managed to say all of that without blushing…..progress._

"I do believe that the turn is mine." Jane looked at each of them before speaking. "Mind you this choice is only what I am choosing right now and is definitely subject to changing at any given time. I like it when he kisses me fiercely, preferably against a wall and positions me so that I am able to…..ah, help via another wall and we maintain eye contact."

All ladies remain lost in their own thoughts for a few moments before Shalah toasted their respective men and started the movie. They stayed up late, each making calls to their respective mates and talking about everything that they could think of until one by one sleep took them all.


	30. Chapter 30

_Who the hell is pounding on the damn door so early?_

"Morning sunshine," Anthony greeted Jane's sour half sleep face. "Thought you might be in need of these." He held up the carrier with three coffees in them and a bottle of aspirin in the middle.

_Why the hell is he so cheery?_

She allowed him entry and shut the door. Anthony glanced the other two dozing women, on opposing ends of the couch, as he followed her into the kitchen.

"This would be sweet if it weren't so freakin early."

He raised a brow to her words.

"I see early is a relative term." The humor in his eyes was unmistakable. Jane glanced at the clock behind him and saw that it was 1:30pm. She grunted slightly.

"You're a booger," she drank one of the coffees and found herself in the comfort of his arms. "Don't I have morning bre-" His finger covered her lips to silence her, then he took the coffee, set it on the table, and kissed her gently.

"I have been thinking about some things…..in my life. You in particular. No need to hold your breath," she hadn't realized that she was doing it, but she had and now she allowed herself its slow release as he continued to speak. "Do you remember how we had our first argument?" she nodded. It had been over how he liked to leave the shower curtain pushed to the knobs side of the wall, but she liked it on the opposing wall because you could see an intruder immediately it they tried to come in, but the other way- his way would give the intruder the advantage. "I had suspected it before, but I knew it then. You won that one and so much more…..You care not for cut flowers- unnecessary murders you call them, and are smart enough to know that you shouldn't try to keep live ones with that self-proclaimed black thumb of yours." He kissed her thumb while maintaining eye contact. "I had to come over- right now, before I lost my nerve and allowed what I have to say to dissipate into nothingness. Understand that this- as easy as it is for me to do, is not easy for me to say- yet I need for you to know it. I want for you to feel it with your every waking breath and know it even as- no especially as you slumber. I love you Jane. Every bold, eccentric, slightly demented, lovely moment and inch of you." He kissed the forehead of her completely stunned face and held her close. "I just needed to tell you that. I have to get back, I'm late for an afternoon meeting. I'll call you later."

He passed through the front room again and had made it to the door before she'd caught up with him. Her hair was still quite disheveled and her eyes were wide.

"Anthony, I- it's not easy for me either, but I love you too."

"I know it- baby." He smacked her bottom and gave her another quick kiss before heading out.

"You guys enjoy the show?" Jane asked her friends that she knew had to be wide awake by now and must have heard much of what happened. When she turned back and saw their faces, she knew that she had been correct.

"That was so….."

"Amazing….." Shalah finished dreamily.

"I know right." Jane sat down between them. "He brought us coffee and aspirin; they're in the kitchen." She offered off handedly as her friends went to retrieve the items. It would be a long while before Jane would be ready to come down from the cloud that she was happily on.


	31. Chapter 31

Jane sat sketch pad in hand, but there was no hurried movements signifying her actually putting it to use. She'd been this way for quite some time now.

_ Damn it, I'm daydreaming…..again. I miss him, a lot and I just saw him. Anthony… okay, enough of this. He'll be over for dinner at your place tonight, now get back to sketching the mock up for that project that is to be your final exam. My roommate's out of town and Shalah is indulging in her extracurricular activities, so we will have the whole place to ourselves…..at least for two days. So why can't I get this thing out of the way?_

She looked at the blank paper and frowned. Jane picked up the phone and called someone for some answers.

"Your timing is not great sis."

She ignored the sarcasm.

"So I'm kind of stumped on this project that I want to have finished by a certain time because I have plans."

"Janey…."

"Come on Trent I need your help with this muse situation here."

"Okay, but you're not going to like it." Trent sighed and moved the ankle that had been perched upon his shoulder. "Basically, the muse does not like to be confined and she doesn't care about deadlines. You have to let her come to you when she feels like it and then you will feel like it. Get it?"

"Trent….."

"Hey, you asked, but I think you knew this already. So what did really want to ask me?"

Jane chewed on her bottom lip for a moment.

"How do you do it?"

Trent scratched his head. He knew what she meant, but he also knew that every person had their own way of doing things. It was up to Jane to learn how to balance her art and her love life."

"It helps that I have a _very _understanding girlfriend," he looked back at said girlfriend and gave her a wink. "It also helps if the other person were to understand how you felt about what you do, you know how sometimes when you're wrapped up in it, and the musings can consume you until its right."

_ In other words, talk to him. Thanks for the kick in the butt brother._

"I know." Her voice was petulant, but she didn't care. "…..and thanks Trent."

"Anytime sis."

They hung up their respective lines and Jane tried to figure out the best way to explain to the new love in her life about her on going love affair.


	32. Chapter 32

_She's really quiet tonight._

"Can I get you some more wine?" Jane asked Anthony distractedly and went to do so without waiting for an answer.

"Thanks….." he watched her seated figure take a long sip of her wine and resume her stance of staring off distantly. "Jane…..?"

"Mmm?"

"What's going on?"

_ She can't be freaked out about the 'I love you'…..can she? Maybe she thought about it and it felt like too much too soon._

"Um…..why do you ask?"

"Because," he put down the glass that he'd sipped from, "since I told you that I love you, you have been distant.

"Have I?" Jane swallowed hard. She knew exactly what he meant. Her mind had been on that project and what it represented to her. "I was just thinking about this piece that I have coming up and I how I really wanted to have it done _before _tonight, but I just- couldn't."

"So you need to be working right now, correct?"

"Well- yes-"

"Jane, I get that. You're an artist and you must have time to create. I'll just leave and we can-"

"Wait- sit, please."

He reseated himself from where he had risen and tried to decipher the concern on her face.

"You think you understand but-" she shook her head slightly. "When I am painting, or sculpting, or- whatever, it takes a hold of me in a way like nothing else. I am compelled to spend as much time and energy as possible in creating the realization of whatever it is that has taken hold. I know it sounds so sci-fi, but it feels so…..right. It's as organic to me as breathing. That's my process."

"O….kay."

_I don't think you're getting it dear._

"What I mean is…..no matter what is going on in my life at the time, when the muse strikes me, I must yield."

"You mean sometimes dates will be cancelled?"

"Postponed, but yeah and what if it's at the most inopportune times? Then you'll come to resent something that I love, something that is a part of me."

"I don't really think….."

"Think about it, I know I have. I don't want us to be in the same space and…" her voice fell away.

"And what?"

"Be relative strangers occasionally having sex in the night."

"That would never be us. Look at you right now," he watched the worry shift to thought process behind her eyes. "You're concerned and recognize that there could have been a problem. We're talking it out so that we both understand and believe me I do understand. Your art, in order for you to be true to it, it must fully envelope you. I do get it and I may not like it sometimes, but I could never resent you or any part of you, for I love ALL of you."

"Okay," she smiled at him, once again feeling grateful for their connection.

"Also," his voice took on a gravely serious tone, "occasionally having sex? I don't think that you're even capable of that."

"Damn straight Demartino," she got up and straddled him in the chair. "Now," she kissed one side of his face, "would you," she kissed the other side, "do me a favor?" she kissed him fully on the mouth.

"Anything."

"Get the hell out of here so I can create?"

_Impish tease….._

"As you wish."

He kissed her again, this time sliding his hands beneath the back of her shirt sliding up either side of her spine and ending with the slight grazing of the sides of her breasts.

_ …..Oh, Anthony….._

"Come on," he reluctantly removed her from his lap and stood. "Now, you go ahead and be the brilliant woman that I love."

"No pressure there….."  
"Anything you do can and will be brilliant." He had made it to the door and looked back down at her. "…..my heart is full."

"…..as is mine my love."

He gave a gentlemanly bow to her without breaking eye connection and she gave her lady's curtsy.


	33. Chapter 33

He waited at the door after hearing her say that she'd be there in a minute. She had called and uttered only three words…..that was all it had took and he had come a running- well not literally, but almost. She opened the door and delighted in the almost cartoonish way his eyes bulged before he regained himself.

"Now Anthony, this isn't anything you haven't seen before." She gestured to her nude form- with the exception of a pair of red heels- that was poised in the entrance before him. "I hope you like my shoes….." She turned first one foot then the other to show off the high heeled shoes with the straps that crisscrossed up until her mid-calf. He nodded and entered quickly shutting the door behind him. She had started unbuttoning his shirt and pulling him toward her, but not quite allowing their bodies to touch. "What's the matter Anthony," she turned away and looked over her shoulder at him, "Cat got your tongue?" She ran the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip quickly and hummed slightly as she, unnecessarily, gestured for him to follow her. She had positioned herself in the middle of the bed with the paleness of her skin enhanced by the shimmering satiny red of the pillows and spread that surrounded her. He cautiously joined her on the bed and allowed a hand to come into contact with the delicate flesh of her leg. He traced the path of the straps and allowed his index to continue up the back of her leg passing her knee and lingering at the beginning of her thigh. Her hand covered his and she sat up, while pushing him down. Their eyes connected again as she straddled his face. He inhaled her scent deeply and prepared for the much anticipated tasting. His tongue went to delve in-

Anthony sat up with a start at the intrusive sound of his phone ringing.

"Hello."

_This had better be import-_

"You sound grumpy. Did I wake you?" Jane's voice brought him fully awake.

"It's okay," he said with regret. "What's up?"

_Besides me._

"I was hoping that I could see you. I finished by project and turned it in and stuff so….."

"So now you have some free time for me?" he teased.

"I wanted to see you before now but- well, you know."

"I get it. So a bit of late night fun it is then."

"I would not be opposed to a bit of shagging tonight. My roommate has not made it home and you have yet to stay at my place for the evening."

"I'll be right over."

He wasted no time in getting dressed and heading to her place.


	34. Chapter 34

"Harder," Jane demanded to a skeptical looking Anthony.

"I don't know if I shou-"

"Just do it!" her voice was gruff and demanding.

"Stop or you'll break it," he cautioned. "There, better?"

She let her head fall back and gave a loud moan of approval, then snapped her head back up to look at his pleased expression.

"You knew what I needed and gave it to me soooo good."

"Happy to oblige ma'am."

Watching her practically inhale that large sub sandwich with all the jalapenos and then struggling to get the seemingly glued down lid off her drink before handing it to him, had been a treat for him. It wasn't what he had originally planned on doing but he figured that she hadn't had anything once she got started and she'd worked these last couple of days straight through with one liner phone calls and texts, so he had made her a large sandwich with all of the fixins and brought her some of that sports drink that she loved. Good thing too, 'cause as soon as she saw it she'd dived right in and the way she had looked when she'd unwrapped it…..well he'd almost felt a sight jealous of that sandwich for a moment. She had finished up, went to rinse her mouth out and now reentered the front room.

"I don't think I've given you the tour," her voice called from behind him. He turned to see her dramatically poised against her doorway with her hand on her forehead. He stood and walked towards her. "This," she gestured to the room behind her, "is my room. The Queen's boudoir."

"Queen?"

"Yes fair knight, I am your Queen."

"My Lady, please allow me safe passage into this promise land of yours and I would happily lay down my life for thee."

"My Guinevere….."

"…..my Lancelot."

They smiled at each other and the gentility with which this interaction came.

"Arthur would not be pleased with us," Demartino's voice was surprisingly soft with a playful edge around his lips and mouth.

"Worry not, for there is no other but you." She took him by the hand and led him into the room. "Everyone thinks that it was I that betrayed Arthur. No one ever speaks of his betrayal, but that's for another time. These moments are ours to be coveted for they are most precious."

"Then might I suggest that we take care of your royal duties first?"

"What?"

"You know," he gave way to a seductive smile, "any good knight must _kneel_ before his queen." Her smile matched his and they spent the remainder of their alone time and more indulging in one another.


	35. Chapter 35

"Wind, what are you doing here?" Jane was surprised to see her eldest brother on her doorstep when she'd stepped out and almost ran into him.

"I'm on my way to Lawndale. Thought I would see if you'd like a lift."

"I barely got out of there with my sanity; I'm not going back," the laughter died on her lips when she saw the look on her brother's face. "What is it Wind?"

"Mom called, it's dad."

"Is he hurt bad?"

She knew the answer even as she asked the question. His entire demeanor told her all that she needed to know. Only the slight nod of his head gave confirmation to the awful truth. She slumped back against the door that she'd just come out of feeling the weight of this news.

_ …..daddy, dead….._

She didn't know how long they stood in horrific silence, but she allowed him to lead her back into her apartment and sit her on the sofa. It wasn't until she felt him urging her to drink the water that he'd brought her that she came back to her senses…..somewhat.

"I need to call Trent."

"Mom told him." Wind said quietly and handed her the knapsack that she'd been reaching for to retrieve her phone.

_But I know you need to talk to him…..to hear him._

"Trent…..? You talked to mom….. I- um- …..Wind is here….. I'm gonna go back with him. I'll see you there? …..please try." She tried to place the phone down on the table but missed and it fell to the floor making a dull thud against the worn throw rug. She looked up into Wind's face as he put the phone on the table for her and placed his hands over hers that were settled upon her knees.

_I know I'm not the brother that you want or even need right now, but I'm the one that you have….._

He gave her hands a gentle squeeze and held them a few moments more before she slowly went to back some things.


	36. Chapter 36

"Have you talked to your brother- Trent?"

"No mom, he isn't picking up right now."

Amanda Lane resumed what she was doing in the kitchen when she had seen Jane and her best friend walking through with Jane's things on their way to Jane's room. Once in Jane's room the two ladies sat in silence each unsure of what to say.

"Thanks for helping me with my stuff."

"Your welcome. Can I get you anything else?"

_My dad back? Trent home?_

"Nah, but if you happen to talk to Trent…..on second thought let him be. He's probably dealing with his own stuff. Just make sure he's okay."

"I will."

_And I'll keep an eye on you too._

"Mom wants everyone downstairs for a prayer vigil Jane," Wind's voice said from the doorway where he seemed to appear from nowhere.

The girls looked at each other questioningly, but said nothing.

"I'll be there in a sec," Jane responded taken aback at this unusual request.

"Not that I'm judging but…..I didn't think your family did the religious thing so much." Her friend remarked.

"We don't….not really, at least not that I remember." Jane sat down on her bed and looked at her friend and thought for a few moments. "I never really thought about it much, but do you think that makes me, I don't know, well wrong or something?"

"Well, does it make me wrong or something? I don't go to church every week? And neither does my family."

"But you have some kind of holistic belief or something."

"….or something…."

"So you think I'm normal?"

"Don't go putting words in my mouth." she said around a playful smirk. "I just meant, that people turn to different- usually familiar things for solace in times of mourning- perhaps from their childhood."

Jane shrugged.

_Well it sure as hell wasn't from mine._

"Look, you're off the hook for this. You should go home and get some rest or something. You've been with me this whole time. I'm sure that you're going nuts by now." It had been really surprisingly sweet that her best friend had stuck by her side from the moment that she'd found out about her father without so much as a word of complaint. The young woman opened her mouth to object but before she could Shalah came bursting into the room in all of her glory and threw her arms around both surprised women.

"I got here as fast as I could and almost got a speeding ticket or two, but once I explained- what?" she asked breathlessly.

It was good to see her they immediately decided together. She was like a breath of much needed fresh air.

"So, Jane what can I do for you?" Shalah looked to her friend in all seriousness.

Jane looked from one to the other and shook her head realizing just how incredibly fortunate she was and there in her childhood bedroom she felt tears stinging the corners of her eyes for the blessing of the two souls at her sides now giving her comfort for the father that was no longer of this earth.


	37. Chapter 37

"Talk about your 'daddy issues'," Penney Lane commented rather loudly.

"Can it Penney," Wind uncharacteristically defended as he followed her eye line to Jane and Demartino's embrace on the front porch.

"What? I was just sayin…."

"Well maybe you should just keep some things to yourself sometimes. It's none of your business." Wind gave her a hard look, which for him was an extremely rare feat.

She turned away from the couple and faced him completely and fully.

"And who do you think you are, Trent?"

She knew that she'd struck a nerve with him, but what the hell did he think that he was doing getting on her case like that. Jane was on the front porch making a complete fool of herself with their old ass school teacher no less and she wasn't supposed to say anything? Is he nutso or what? In what parallel world did she wake up in? Their dad was dead and everyone was running around like wrapped up in their own shit. Where was the family unity? Big surprise right?

"Everyone is going through stuff Penney. Don't make a scene by dumping on Jane. Let her have this time with someone that obviously cares for her." Wind's voice had taken a slightly gentler tone, but still held vestiges of its earlier firmness.

_Everyone is concerned for Jane it seems….._

Penney raised her chin in slight defiance, but said nothing as she headed to the kitchen. Each step she took was marked with the dwindling hope that there be something cool to drink in refrigerator, so she was ill prepared for completely overflowing amount of food and drinks when she opened it. She stared confused for a few moments before grabbing and opening an orange soda and taking a sip before closing it.

"People have been bringing food and drinks over since they found out." Amanda Lane's voice surprised Penney from where she'd been sitting at the table. "Nice of them don't you think?"

"Uh- I guess…."

_Funny, they never offered so much as a sandwich to us when we were little and possibly starving._

"Think I'll head out for a walk….."

"Oh, Penney?" Amanda's voice held a bit of hope. "Have you seen Trent? I didn't know if he'd made it in yet."

Penney's mouth tightened around the corners slightly, almost imperceptibly.

"Nah, not yet mom."

"When you see him- just tell him I'll be in my room." Amanda left the kitchen and Penney had the distinct feeling that her father- his energy or whatever walked with her.

_ Aw mom…._

"She'll be okay," Wind's voice floated from behind her.

"I know. I'll be back later." Penney didn't bother looking at Wind as she left still smarting over their earlier words. She walked through the familiar streets that had been updated or rundown, depending on the area and let her mind roam free.

_ Wind growing a spine! Well wonders never cease and where Jane is concerned- no surprise there. Jane is the baby after all; everyone will want to protect her. It's not like she's tough like me! Hell she had to have her best friend from high school escort her home and her other friend come rushing in to have a cry session. Then Demartino shows up to hold her hand and it's been like the Jane show all day long! Pathetic! She could learn a thing or two if she were out on her own like I was- am. She needs to learn to be self-sufficient and not count on everyone else to always bail her out of everything all of the time. That's not how life wo- Hey, that's Trent. What's he doing? That is NOT the way to the house. Well this day just got a whole lot more interesting….._

Penney watched as Trent entered what she assumed was an apartment over one of the little dress shops and impatiently waited until she saw him leave after being in there a while. She was surprised to see Monique when she had come out behind him. Something had gone down between them because they both looked intense and the way Monique was staring after him, well there seemed to be some unfinished business there. It took her another few moments to realize that he still hadn't seen her because he was still not headed toward home.

_ Does he really think that little stint on the road qualifies him as some kind of rock star or something? And even if you have become some kind of mainstream sensation it still gives you no right to avoid mom or the rest of us- you jerk!_

She opened her mouth to call out to him, but changed her mind. What would be the point? He didn't want to be with them, so fine- let him be by himself. She turned on her heel and took a slower walk back home hoping that Demartino would be gone by the time that she got there.


	38. Chapter 38

Venerable blue eyes looked into darkened strong ones. Strong male arms encircled her momentarily rigid frame. One hand splayed over her back as though trying to give over some part of himself- his strength to her. She inhaled deeply of the vest that he wore, capturing his scent in her nostrils. It felt good to have him so close like this and she had no idea that she even needed it- that she needed him like this. The comfort of something as simple as his rhythmic breathing soothed her; her arms gave gentle pressure around his waist.

_My baby if I could take away your pain I would. You've known much pain as it is; doesn't seem fair really that you should continually endure more, but this is not a battle that any of us can win for death comes to us all eventually….. Come on Anthony maudlin thoughts are not what she needs right now._

"Can I get you guys something to drink?" Wind's voice came from the front door. The couple shook their head and Jane threw him a grateful look for the offering. "You can come inside; there's no one in the front room…. you know, if you like."

"Thanks Wind." Jane watched her older brother go back inside and was appreciative of all that he had and was trying to do. She recognized that he was trying to be there for everyone and had not at one time mentioned his own pain or relations. She wasn't sure if that meant he had grown or regressed, but either way he had changed.

"How is your mother and everyone handling things?"

"I don't really know. I just got here a few hours ago and once my roommate and Shalah left you came by, but even though we didn't speak I somehow managed to piss off Penney."

_You can do that by waking up if her classmates were correct in their assessments._

"What about Trent?"

She looked off to the side slightly and chewed on her bottom lip before slowly answering.

"He's…..I think he had to work some things out for himself before he can help anyone else."

"You haven't talked to him?" Anthony was clearly surprised by this.

"He'll call when he's ready." He tightened his embrace on her slightly.

_But you need him now. Damn free spirits…..structure ain't so bad some times._

"Um, Jane?"

_ That perpetually lilting voice that's always enunciated by a punctuated uplifting inflection at the end as though asking a question…..I thought she got out of Lawndale._

"Hi Brittany," Jane was genuinely surprised to see her former classmate and no longer in her cheerleading uniform. This Brittany seemed so- so- Jane couldn't quite find the word for it.

"I- ah-" her eyes darted from Jane to Demartino and back to Jane again, "I heard about your dad and I wanted to offer my consolations- I mean my condolences."

"That's really sweet Brittany," Jane was genuinely touched that after all these years Brittany would even remember her, let alone be concerned enough to come by.

"Oh and I brought this too." She shoved a brand new cream colored French corning ware dish towards Jane. "Ashley-Amber said that it's proper to bring a nice dish to the home of the family of the recently departed but-" she looked a bit confused for a moment.

"But what Brittany?" Jane was amused at this throwback to high school nostalgia.

"Well shouldn't you register or something? 'cause how will everyone know what to get and whether or not it will match. You want to have the same place setting and stuff." Brittany seemed so concentrated on working out the details of this situation that it touched Jane and reminded her of her previous thoughts. Brittany had changed her physical appearance marginally with long honey blonde hair instead of highlighter blonde bleached to unhealthy proportions and instead of the body baring cheerleading outfit, she sported an athletic style racer back blue dress that showed just how toned and fit she'd been keeping herself. She had an ease about herself, like she was comfortable with who she is. All of that had not changed who she was in essence Jane realized and that, in this case, was a good thing. Her childlike approach to some things were endearing, while her naivety or simple lack of knowledge could come across as mean spirited for someone unaware, but for Jane, she was just Brittany.

"It all works out. Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure, just no Ultra-Cola," Brittany flashed to her stint in the hospital because of that stuff and outwardly shivered.

"Okay, I'll-"

"Let me," Anthony offered feeling like he could finally be of some kind of use in this situation, however small and with that he disappeared into the house after taking the dish from Jane.

"Jane?"

"That guy that just went in, doesn't he remind you of someone?"

"Yeah, that's who I'm seeing."

"But doesn't he _remind_ you of someone?"

"Demartino?"

"No, of course not silly." She took a step closer even though no one else was around. "Jane, you're dating Clooney's doppelganger.

"Britany," Jane said very carefully for fear of laughing at the poor girl, "that's Anthony Demartino- from Lawndale High. You know history class. We started seeing each other while I was going to school in Boston and he started teaching locally there."

Brittany looked at Jane as though she thought that she was pulling her leg or something.

_That can't be right, Mr. Demartino was an angry man with a bulging eye and always shouting about learning and boring old facts and stuff; plus, he wore boring pants and button down shirts like a nerdy dad or something. This guy is what Ashley-Amber would call a silver foxy._

"That can't be Mr. Demartino- this guy is- well, hot." Brittany stated and then 'eeped' when Demartino came out carrying their drinks.

"Ladies."

"I have to go," Brittany said suddenly and made to scurry away. "I'll be back after the services; I don't go to funerals, unless you really need me there," she offered with fear clearly written all over her well-meaning face.

"You've been great Brittany, don't worry about the funeral."

"Okay…..and Jane, I really am sorry about your dad."

Jane nodded and watched as she pulled off in the shiny red sports car. It had been such a refreshing and unexpected visit that Jane had almost forgot the reason for it- almost. Why does it take death or destruction for people to do this kind of thing? This question plagued Jane and others of the household for that and many other evenings as people came and went paying their respects. Anthony, for his part, stayed as useful as he could. He would make sure that things were neat and ready for the family and anyone that would be visiting; he helped Wind rake the leaves in the yard and made sure that Jane had her basics taken care of, but mostly he just needed to be near her not just to support her, but for himself for he loved her just for her.


	39. Chapter 39

_Funerals…..I don't like funerals…no one does I suppose. Great, I'm complaining about my dad's funeral. How selfish is that? Look at mom…how is she doing it? I would be curled in a fetal position somewhere. She doesn't exactly seem like she's all the way there though and why would she be? Everyone is so…subdued and for the Lane family that's saying something. Look at all of these people… did they even know dad?_

The spray of misting rain continued to fall as the funeral and those whom attended the ceremony paid their respect. Jane and others of her family floated through the motions and gave the appropriate responses with each looking forward to a time when they could just be alone for a while and settle in with their own thoughts. Jane was more than grateful that Anthony remained a permanent fixture at her side, even with Penney throwing them those looks. Trent was also to her side, silent and there with her best friend, Jesse, and Shayla for support. It as a comfort to know that Trent had someone solid and that she didn't have to worry about him quite as much. She turned her eyes to Shayla and Jesse, another pair that she could not imagine not being in her life. She and Shayla had hit it off immediately and Jesse… she still felt the knotted sense of hurt from his pain. He was here though and that meant so much to her. Then there had been Brittany… that was a surprise and pleasant visit. In spite of the loss, Jane had thought looking at everyone; Jane knew that she was truly lucky. She looked up into Anthony's eyes for that reassurance that he gave so easily and smiled.

Lane House…

"Hey, thought we'd hit The Zon tonight, to blow off some steam and stuff." Trent spoke to Jane in her room that afternoon. It was the first time that they'd been alone to talk.

"Sure, I guess…"

"I invited DeMartino too."

"Thanks…"

The brother and sister looked at each other.

"Sorry about not being there for you. I had… my own stuff going on."

"I know… and since this is the first time, I will forgive you." She spoke with a playful smile.

"The first and only time; you're an amazing sister."

"I am pretty amazing aren't I?" They hugged. "Are you okay?" she asked in a whisper.

"I think so."

They remained in a light embrace and looked at each other.

"I love you sis."

"I love you too big brother."

There was a light knock at the door.

"Yes?"

"Just checking in," the comforting monotone poked her head in to check on Trent and Jane.

"Come on in," Jane motioned for her to join them where they sat on her old bed.

Trent took his girlfriend's hand and made sure that she was sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around her.

"You keeping this one straight?" Jane asked her friend, to which her friend nodded.

"How are you?" the petite young woman asked her friend.

"I'm… a whole lot better…..thanks to Anthony. So, what's with tonight?"

"Tonight is about everyone coming together…like before." Trent stated. "Well, not exactly like before," he added giving his girl a squeeze. "More like everyone playing catch up and taking time to share the good with each other."

"Well I'm for that," Jane agreed with a feeling of anticipation for the evening. "It'll be good to catch up with the guys. How is everyone?"

Trent paused slightly thinking. He had been so into his own shit that he'd almost missed the key points of what was going on with his friends. He was glad that they were such a forgiving sort.

"Max is… he and Stacey broke up and Nick, well he's Nick."

"How's Max dealing?"

"Nick didn't let him go too far."

"Let me guess, he put him to bed."

Trent nodded with a smile.

"Max was super pissed, but better that than… something else."

The petite woman could feel Trent's arms tighten around her slightly and even if they hadn't, she could tell from his voice that he was recalling an unpleasant event from the past. She had heard Trent and Jesse remark on more than one occasion that Max using was more than unpleasant, it was dangerous. Max was not discriminating when it came to using, because it was usually during a time of extreme duress, so he took whatever he could get from whomever he could get it from and this had almost cost him his life on more than one occasion. That's why this night was kind of important; To let everyone know that no matter what was going on, they were still family.


	40. Chapter 40

"Where's DeMartino?"

"Had to help a friend."

Jesse looked down into Jane's upturned face.

"We don't have to, if you don't want to."

"Of course I want to."

Hand in hand Jesse and Jane made their way to the dance floor. They danced and laughed finding joy in the old songs and memories. It felt nice. The music slowed and the words of Enjoy the Silence floated out over the speakers bringing with it a flood of memories for Jane and Jesse. His arms were around her. There was a familiarity in it, safeness. She closed her eyes and let the past wash over her…it wouldn't hurt to remember such a good and special time for a few moments…right?

_ I can feel his heart racing or is it mine? Jesse, why didn't we come clean with each other? I wish- careful there, dangerous territory that your trespassing in._

"Jane," his voice sounded somewhat strained. She looked into the eyes of her long-time friend and felt the warmth of the love that still shone through. He caressed the side of her face gently and she leaned into it. His touch…his gentle, masterful touch… He leaned in so that their noses were almost touching. "Walk away…" his voice was husky and smelled lightly of the berry flavored candy that she'd given him earlier. They had both stopped moving, finding themselves locked in each other's gaze.

_ He's right, I should go. I should find Anthony and-_

He leaned in their lips were a breath apart-

"Jane?" Brittany's lilting voice interrupted.

_Damn!_

It took Jane a few blinks before she came back to reality and was able to focus on Brittany standing just off to Jesse's side.

"You told me to come by here and hang out if I wanted?" She looked from Jane to Jesse aware that she had interrupted something important. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…"

"I'll get us something to drink." Jesse disappeared leaving Jane and Brittany to talk.

"Come on Brittany," Jane led the blonde to the table that Max had resumed sitting at and was working on another drink. Once there they sat. "I'm glad that you came. We all wanted to get together before everyone headed their separate ways and stuff. I also wanted to thank you for coming by before the funeral. That was really sweet of you."

"Oh, that's okay Jane. I just didn't want what happened to me to happen to you."

Jane's eyes narrowed.

"What happened to you Brittany?"

"Well," she twirled a lock of her hair nervously, "except for Ashley Amber, I didn't recognize anyone at my dad's funeral." She finished the last statement with her eyes dropped to her lap.

_Way to go, I had no idea that her dad had died._

"Sorry Brittany, I didn't know…"

"It's okay. I didn't expect you to know." She looked back up at Jane. "I did think that maybe some of my 'friends' from school would show, but…they were busy. My dad's business partners and stuff came though…"

_That sounds sad and lonely…_

"That's why when I heard about your dad; I wanted to make sure that you knew that someone familiar was there if you needed them…even if I didn't go to the actual funeral." Brittany explained coming back to her upbeat self.

"That's really considerate of you Brittany. Now, tell me what you are doing with your life."

"Umm….." she twirled her hair some more.

"Are you still going to school?"

She looked away, then back at Jane.

"I didn't go back. I wasn't sure if I should."

Jane looked at Brittany and saw that she was thoroughly confused.

"What do you want to do Brittany?"

"Daddy said that I would marry well and not have to worry about work…"

"Well, what about you. Isn't there something that you want to do just for yourself- something that you enjoy?"

"I like helping people. I was really good at the children's hospital, but-"

"But what Brittany?"

"Well, the head nurse said that I was too much of a distraction, so I had to stop."

"Distraction?"

"Yeah," she furrowed her brows slightly as she recounted her brief experience at the hospital. "I would go in and this really nice doctor asked for my help all the time, so I would help him out. Then one day Mrs. K, that's the head nurse, found me in his office. She completely misunderstood what was happening. I was picking up the pencils that had fallen off of his desk when she walked in. He was always dropping things that I had to pick up for him. You'd think that she would be a bit more understanding since he's her husband."

"Brittany did it ever occur to you that Mrs. K didn't like to see a young, pretty girl in her husband's office on her knees?" Jane patiently painted the scenario for Brittany.

"But I was working," Brittany defended.

"I'm sure you were."

_I just think that the good doctor was ogling you._

"Oh, well maybe she had a point," Brittany spoke thinking.

"Brittany!" Jane could not believe what she was hearing. She lowered her voice to a more reasonable tone. "You should not have been fired because of someone else's insecurities. You seemed to have enjoyed your time there. Why not do something along the same lines?"

"Umm…"

"Look, tonight is about having some fun, but tomorrow we'll go over somethings and come up with something, okay?"

Brittany smiled grateful.

"Okay Jane." She looked over her shoulder to where Jesse was watching them, then back at Jane. "So… are you and he… something?"

"Yeah," Jane looked at Jesse, "we're friends…good friends."

"No offense, but that looked like a lot more than friendship out there on the dance floor."

"It's…complicated."

Her eyes never wavered from Jesse's.

"What about your silver fox?"

Jane's eyes flicked away from Jesse's briefly then back again.

"He and I are fine."

_Not if you keep looking at that hunky guy like that._

"Jane?" Brittany moved so that she was in front of Jane's line of sight. Jane blinked and looked at Britany. "Don't do something that you'll be sorry for tomorrow."

"I'm fine Brittany."

Brittany wasn't convinced.

"I mean….. It's normal to be attracted to other people even when you're in a relationship. It's just easy to be drawn in sometimes when the other person isn't there, especially when there is a shared past with someone else that clearly still has feelings for you."

Jane's eyes went back to Jesse's and watched as he made his way back toward her.


	41. Chapter 41

"Jesse, there you are," Stan's voice greeted him just as he had reached Jane and Brittany; "The establishment would greatly appreciate it if you guys would crank one out for us- you know for old times' sake." Jesse looked at their old friend that had given them a break on more than one occasion.

"Sure, just get the guys… I'm sure that they'll be up for it."

"Already did, they're waiting for you." He clapped Jesse's shoulder in appreciation.

Jesse gave a longing look at Jane before heading over to where Trent, Nick, and Max were. They all agreed to do a piece that they normally did as a kind of warm up. It allowed for each of them to do their own thing while learning to meld each of their unique styles, sounds, and viewpoints. It was like their friendships done through music. The song was a success and The Spiral was in their hometown surrounded by friends and family. All in all it was a pretty sweet night. Jane felt the swell of pride at seeing it all before her. Her brother, Jesse, Max, and Nick were living out their dreams… it was a beautiful sight and the fact that her best friend and brother had found their own solid footing in their relationship was even better.

_ Now if I could just get myself together with this thing I have with Jesse. I have Anthony. I love Anthony… You love Jesse too…NO! Not like that! He and I hashed all of that out a long time ago. Our time has passed. I am happy with Anthony. …..but what about what you COULD have had with Jesse…? That time that you shared…it was so sweet. God, now I'm thinking of myself in third person… Go home- no go find Anthony before things get out of hand._

She watched Jesse on stage, allowing his words and the tone to hit her. She was entranced by him and felt herself drowning in a sea of mixed emotions. Their sound, The Spiral, had evolved. They had grown as a group. Jane stood up abruptly.

"Jane…..?" Brittany was concerned about Jane's expression.

"Brittany," Jane had almost forgotten that she was there. "Look, just let everyone know that I had to leave, but you stay. They'll be cool I promise." She made to leave and then stopped, "Brittany thank you, for everything."

"Sure Jane." Brittany smiled at Jane. "Have fun with Anthony."

"Perfect getaway….." Jesse's voice caught Jane before she could properly get the keys in the car door. He had seen her rushing off and had practically leapt off the stage to follow her.

She didn't want to, but she turned and faced him.

"You told me to leave….."

"Now I'm telling you to stay…"

"Jesse…"

"Jane…"

She swallowed hard and took a step towards where Jesse stood.

_I won't meet her. It has to be her choice. Whatever she wants…Her hand feels so light on the side of my face. She smells like every delicate and feminine scent all rolled into one beautiful and powerful smell. _


	42. Chapter 42

"Hi gorgeous," Anthony's sleep ridden face brightened considerably when he opened the door to see Jane standing there. Jane threw herself against him and he caught her.

_ What the hell- she's crying! What the fuck happened?_

He held her hand patted her back in a comforting fashion. He led her into his room, sat her on the small sofa and waited still holding her. Finally she managed to look up into his face.

"Did something happen?"

She nodded. He had a sick feeling begin to well up inside of him as he tried to guess/wait for her to explain.

"I-" she sniffed and straightened her shoulders trying to compose herself. "I really screwed up tonight."

Anthony shifted his eyes away and then back to hers.

Morning…

Anthony handed a silent Jane a cup of hot coffee. She had been so upset last night that he had comforted her the best way that he knew how and held her until she had finally drifted off in the wee hours of morning. He hadn't forced her to talk about whatever it was- in truth a part of hi really didn't want to know. He knew that she would come to him when she was ready. She was looking at him now, trying to decide what to say and what to do.

"I'll go get us something to eat. I didn't want to leave and have you wake up alone," Anthony explained. "This place doesn't have a continental breakfast or anything," he joked before placing a kiss on her forehead and leaving.

Of all the places…

Anthony took the bag of food and headed out the fast food restaurant. He stopped short when he saw Jesse Moreno leaning against an outside wall about to light up.

"Careful, those things will kill ya," Anthony spoke as he was getting into the rental.

_Like you give a fuck…_

Anthony looked at Jesse standing there on the side of the building taking a draw off of the cigarette and then angrily crush it with his foot and wondered if there were any connection to Moreno's mood and Jane's early morning upset. As he pulled out and headed back to his hotel room he grew more certain that there most definitely was.


	43. Chapter 43

"You weren't there when I got to The Zon," Shayla greeted Jane once Jane had opened her bedroom door. "You look terrible," she assessed seeing Jane's red eyes and unkempt appearance. This was not the usual Lane heavy sleep- something had happened.

"Rough night," Jane shut the door behind her friend and went to reclaim her coveted spot on her bed.

"Well I'm here. Let me try and help."

Jane relayed the evening's events to Shayla and waited.

"So you just left before Anthony got back?"

Jane nodded.

"Talk to him. Tell him what happened."

Jane swallowed hard.

"I don't want to lose him."

"I know, but you told me that being honest with Duncan would best no matter how hard and it was. He and I are stronger than ever."

"I could kick myself for that." Jane gave a tired smile.

"Now go shower and talk to your man."

Lane House

"I was about to come and see you." Jane said to Anthony when she had found him downstairs after Penney had told her that someone was there to see her.

He remained looking at her. Never had their age difference seemed like such a chasm, until now. She looked young, vulnerable, and conflicted. She had run…not stayed and talked to him. She had run… She stood there ringing her hands slightly and looking at him with those eyes… he sighed and took a seat. She sat adjacent to him and looked at him before expelling a breath and speaking.

"I'm sorry that I left the way that I did. You didn't deserve that."

He sat in silence…waiting.

"I just- it had been such a long and confusing night."

He still sat.

"You know that I went out with…The Spiral to kind of blow off steam and reconnect with everyone." She continued without looking at him directly. "The Zon was doing a 90's theme complete with music and everything. The owner even got Trent and- them to perform. Brittany showed up too. I didn't know that her father died- the funeral sounded really lonely for her." Jane flicked her eyes away for a moment before returning them to Anthony. "Jesse and I- we- you know that he and I have a past right?"

Anthony slowly nodded.

"Last night there was… something there. Something that neither of us could deny… I had to… confront things… I had to deal with it."

"…and have you dealt with it?"

She nodded while biting her bottom lip.

"So where does this leave us?"

"Hopefully, it leaves us right where we are supposed to be… together and closer, because I love you." She reached for his hand, but decided against it at the last moment.

"I love you too," he said with much relief in his whole demeanor. He had feared that the young and muscular Moreno had 'made a move' during this trying time and Jane, being more vulnerable than she thought, had responded. He waited for the relief to wash over him, but it was yet to do so he realized with a slight frown. He pondered her carefully chosen words. "What about you and Moreno?"

"Jesse and I… we're taking a bit of time apart, but he and I are friends. That's what he and I are supposed to be."

He reached over and took the hand that she had reached out with earlier. Their eyes caught and held. From the kitchen entrance Penney was about to walk in when she observed the interaction of the couple. They looked so intense and something else… it was something that she had thought she would never see again, at least not in this lifetime… Penney stood in the shadows of the doorway, stunned to see her youngest sister and much older history teacher locked in each other's gaze, showing all that wished to view what genuine love looked like on both parties' behalf.


	44. Chapter 44

Boston…

"Anthony DeMartino is your 'boyfriend', I still can't believe it," Brittany said to Jane in a low-_ish_ whisper in the kitchen of Jane's apartment.

Jane was bringing out the rest of the meal from the oven; the meal that her brother had so lovingly prepared for her. Brittany had come to thank Jane for helping her get a job at the hospital and Jane had invited the blonde along with Anthony, Shayla, Duncan and a colleague of Anthony's to dinner, since her roommate would be out visiting with Trent on the road.

"I can hear you," Anthony's deep and playful tone came from the other room where he had been setting the table.

"Eeep!" Brittany covered her mouth and Jane could swear that she was looking at high school Brittany all over again.

"Oh, Brittany…" Jane smiled and shook her head. The roast smelled and looked delicious.

Even the potatoes and carrots around it looked and smelled good- and they are vegetables, Brittany had thought taking in a large whiff.

"I didn't know that your brother was such a good cook," Brittany said bringing the pitcher of tea to the table and pouring everyone a glass. "Hey, where are Shayla and that hunky Duncan?" Brittany asked about the other guests that had yet to arrive.

"She'll be here any minute," Jane informed everyone.

"Well who's this other setting for?" Brittany grew curious about the extra setting.

"A- friend of mine was going to join us, but he had to cancel." Anthony explained.

A knock at the door made them all turn expectantly.

"I'll get it," Brittany practically bounced in her old cheerleader fashion to answer the door.

"Hi guys, sorry we're late," Shayla with Duncan in tow said crossing the threshold. "We got held up cause this one," she pointed a thumb at Duncan, "wanted to get all dolled up." She mocked, to which he tickled her and they both laughed.

"Well he sure does clean up nice," Jane joined in. "Now why don't you both bring your pretty asses in so we can-"

"Hey everybody-" a familiar voice came from the door. All eyes turned to look behind where Shayla and Duncan had come from. "Hi Brittany…..."

"What are you doing here Kevin?" Brittany's face grew a few shades darker looking at her former high school sweetheart. 


	45. Chapter 45

"What is on that beautiful mind of yours?" Anthony asked Jane. She had been sitting at the table during dinner looking at nothing in particular, answering in mono symbolic tones.

"Mm… are we in a rut?"

"What?"

"I don't know… everything just seems so… calm."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"…no, just different." Jane didn't really want to admit that she hadn't really been much of a relationship person. She had much preferred the thrill of the hunt as far as that went and that had all worked out great… until now.

"Different good or different bad?" Anthony wore a frown.

"Just different…"

They sat in silence for a few moments more. The dinner with friends the night before, had been more than a little uncomfortable with Kevin there trying to talk to Brittany and Brittany ignoring him for as long as she could. Everyone else had worked overtime to try and fill in the gaps of conversation while silently wondering what the hell had happened to the once inseparable duo. Shayla and Duncan had talked about wanting Jane and Anthony to come back to their home town with them so that Duncan could show them the place that he had been working on. He had inherited a farm from his grandparents after Shala had left and had spent all of his free time there fixing it up in an effort to impress Shayla. It was clear to everyone looking at them that the fact that he had put so much into something was what counted to Shayla. There had been a moment, Jane and Anthony had noted when Shayla and Duncan were looking at each other, when Kevin had looked at Brittany with such sorrow. She had looked up at him and the anger in her eyes was palpable; he had looked away in shame. Anthony and Jane had exchanged concerned looks and the dinner had continued on.

"Are you getting bored my dear?"

Jane looked at Anthony through her now narrowed eyes, with her head cocked to the side. His face was filled with concern.

"This is just new territory for me. I have never been the relationship type; not long term anyway and this- us, it feels long term to me."

"Are we- moving too fast for you?"

"Oh," she stood and stretched, "I can keep up." She looked down at where he sat watching her. "How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, does this feel different for you too? It just seems like things have come to some kind of stand still… or am I just crazy?"

"There are ways to shake things up, if that's what you want."

"Really?"

"Move in with me."

"What?" her eyes practically doubled in size.

_ Not exactly the response that I was hoping for._

Jane looked away, then back at Anthony.

"It was just a thought," Anthony tried to bridge the chasm that he felt suddenly growing.

She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again.

"You don't have to say anything. Like I said, it was just a thought." Anthony got up and started clearing the table. Jane remained in the same spot.

"I need to go." She had grabbed her purse and was halfway out the door before he caught up with her.

"Hey," he waited until she looked him in the eye, "what just happened?"

"Noth-" she couldn't lie to him, "I just need to think."

She gave him a weak smile. He nodded.


End file.
